A Good Place Counselling

If you want to find out how to live the life you want - counselling can help. Whether a specific issue, or more general unease - I offer Counselling where ever you are. We can meet face to face in North Dorset, or online using Zoom video. Please see http://www.agoodplace.co for more information, or message to me to start your journey.

Listen to an extract from the BBC Radio Solent Dorset Interview on children and the Manchester attacks here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p053tnss< br>

Trauma and children – the aftermath of the Manchester terrorist attack
I was invited to contribute to the BBC Radio Solent Dorset https://www.facebook.com/BBCRadioSolent/ breakfast programme to talk about how parents, grandparents, aunts, uncle and the rest of us talk to our children about the events of Monday evening.
I thought I would post the notes I made, as I couldn’t make all these points in the time available.
... Shock and anxiety are the perfectly natural response to completely un-natural events.
Lots of us will still be in shock, feeling numb – which is natural. There is no need to rush to talk – it is very important that we allow natural timing to dictate how we respond.
A lot has been made that for our children, this is the first horrific event in England they will have experienced – however with access to Youtube and the internet, our children and young people have been exposed, sadly, to many awful events from around the world – and these experiences will give them resilience.
And the concert, Ariana Grande, was by someone who is a huge part of the lives of many children, which as adults we probably don’t quite get.
Talking with children needs to be led by them, and we need to keep what we say age appropriate – and if we don’t know the answers – it’s ok to say we don’t know, and I suggest that we look it up – together – so we can ensure that what we uncover is age appropriate. “What do you want to know?” is a good start. I was asked if we should shield our children – and we do need to keep them safe and this could mean keeping some images or reports away from them.
Young minds can be harmed when they are repeatedly exposed to images and video because when we are young, we experience each image as a scary event, rather than lots of images of the same event. Frightening!
And some of our children are already anxious with exams coming up.
If you feel the anxiety is continuing then do have a conversation with your GP or your child’s teacher to check there isn’t another underlying problem.
And as adults we may be impacted too – don’t forget your own feelings and reactions – take time to care for you, too.
Use trusted websites for more information, an BBC Newsround is a good one for age appropriate information. http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround
Finally, remember all the hope and happy things in our world – and end any conversation with a happy memory or experience – reading a favourite book, looking at happy pictures, taking the dog for a walk or listening to our best music.
If you want to know more – get in touch.
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I'll be having some downtime between Christmas and New Year, and I know for many of us our usual routine goes out the window.
I think it's important to remember that when out of routine, we can often feel unsettled - even though the change can for good things, like visiting friends and family or time off work - so I invite you to take time out for 'you' over the break - 5 minutes here and there will be a good start.
I'm back on the 3rd of January 2017 and if you feel that you would like a different perspective on your life, or would like help to make changes, please get in touch.

SatNav takes you to the middle of the business park – personalised directions to A Good Place below
From the Blandford bypass turn North towards Melbury Abbas (C13) then take next right into Sunrise Business Park, and immediately turn right in front of a Blandford Tools sign and drive to the end. (Newglaze is in the same Unit)
There is parking – use any of the ‘SWANN’ spaces, opposite and beside the entrance to Unit 1, which I share with Swann Recruitment. Come through the do...uble doors, turn immediately right through the door to the stairs, up half a flight, turn left and left at the top, Suite C – my door – is on the left – come in and take a seat in the waiting area.
If the outside doors are locked, I have a doorbell on the left, buzz it and I’ll come down.
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Sometimes in my time with clients I hear about the awful impact Facebook has on them, so many people feel inadequate and lost. However recently I saw/heard at first-hand how brilliant FB can be when it works well.
I was in a café and there were several mums and babies at a nearby table. Having a lovely time and I gathered from them that this was the first time they had met face to face. They first ‘met’ through joining a group focussed on the birth date of their babies and th...is common factor meant the world to them. Troubles with feeding, teething, how the Mums were feeling were all OK to talk about. This group had such an emotional maturity – other groups might have reacted a judgemental way, leaving people feeling shamed – and not this one.
These Mums got strength from being accepted for who they are, and being supported by others who may not ‘get’ them, though they are curious and want to understand the other’s perspective. This ‘I’m OK you’re OK’ is the basic premise of TA (Transactional Analysis) and is often difficult to hold to in our lives, and this group live it beautifully.
I have been wondering what it is that meant this group is supportive, encouraging and welcoming – perhaps this comes from the courage of the Mum’s? A brilliant reminder of the positive power of coming together.
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Here in the UK we are going through some huge changes - on one level. And yet day to day, for many of us nothing is different. For those of us who are impacted by change and experience anxiety about the unknown, then gentle mindfulness can help. Focussing down on the basics and letting go of the 'what ifs'. For me, I put this in practise when out and about, really noticing my world. If this is something you would like to find out more about, then please contact me,

Perhaps face to face Counselling just won't work for you - is Online Counselling any good?
I believe that face to face Counselling is a special experience, and the potential of two people in the same room, focussing on each other can be a powerful force for change.
And sometimes because of our location, work pattern or mobility issues, face to face counselling is not practicable. In this instance we can work together ‘online’
... This could be by video calling, email or messaging.
Online counselling is different to face-to-face work, as misunderstandings may occur due to a lack of facial expressions and tone of voice. We should agree to think the best of each other and then try to express how we are feeling.
To find our more see my website: http://agoodplace.co/what-is-counselli… /a-good-place-online/
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Do you have a friend who you think might need Counselling - how do you tell them?
In short, you probably have to leave it up to your friend to decide they need Counselling.
It can be very difficult to see our friends in distress, and we all want to help. I think offering time to listen and not suggesting solutions can be the most useful thing.
... And when your friend asks for help perhaps suggest they consider Counselling?
In Dorset you can access support from the NHS through the Steps to Wellbeing Programme, or choose an experienced Counsellor through a recognised professional organisation, such as BACP.
If your friend’s distress is impacting you, then perhaps you could have Counselling to support you? Caring for a loved one with mental or physical illness can be very demanding, and perhaps we feel we have no-one to talk to.
I offer an initial 30 minute, no obligation, initial meeting to see if Counselling could help you. Take the next step by contacting me through http://agoodplace.co/contact-us/
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My new website now live - I hope it answers your questions about Counselling - http://agoodplace.co/ What do you think?

Find out about Counselling in Blandford Forum - updated video now launched, with thanks to Champagne Video

How do I choose between one Counsellor and another?
Clients tell me that they find it difficult to know who to choose for their Counsellor.
I suggest that they check the qualifications and experience of the Counsellor – looking for an accredited practitioner can be a good guideline. Accreditation offers kite-mark status for individual practitioners, who are able to demonstrate that they are meeting a wide range of criteria, including high standards of knowledge, experience an...d development (BACP).
Then decide if the Counsellor is someone you can work with – clients tell me that often their final decision is made based on a photo or video.
The important thing is that you can connect with the person, as this is what is likely to determine how successful the Counselling will be.
I offer an initial no obligation, no cost initial 30 minute meeting where you can find out more about me, Counselling and whether it is for you.
alison@agoodplace.co 01258 577570
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The default facebook map seems to take you to the depths of beautiful North Dorset, so here is a more focussed map.