The Listening Room

This weeks blog on the-listening-rooms.com offers thoughts on ideas that could help transform your intimate relationship. #lookforthegood #flexibility #optimism #askforwhatyouneed #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #relationshipcounselling #relationshipcounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Unfortunately, suppression creates a rebound effect and increases or maintains negative emotions and physiological arousal. Avoidance has been called the kryptonite of all mental health disorders since it prevents corrective experience from occurring and paradoxically sensitises is to whatever it is that we are avoiding. #suejohnson #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #correctiveexperiences #attachmenttheory #attachmenttheoryinpractice #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Having a strong desire for connection is normal and necessary for our well-being. We are hard-wired to seek proximity and closeness with others. Voicing this desire and initiating behaviours of closeness are signs of health and sanity, not signs of dependency or neediness. Valuing emotional connection is a beautiful thing. #intimacy #dependence #bonding #attachmenttheory #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounseling #couplescounseling #couplestherapist #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Having a strong desire for connection is normal and necessary for our well-being. We are hard wired to seek proximity and closeness with others. Voicing this desire and initiating behaviors of closeness are signs of health and sanity, not signs of dependency or neediness. Valuing emotional connection is a beautiful thing. #intimacy #dependence #bonding #attachmenttheory #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounseling #couplescounseling #couplestherapist #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Attachment figures, including relational partners, are incorporated into neural representations of self as vital resources that promote survival, the dilution of risk, load-sharing, and the regulation of negative emotion, and so carry an enormous existential significance. #suejohnson #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attachmenttheory #bonding #longing #safety #regulation #constructivedependency #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #relationshipcounselling #relationshipcounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Many couples who come for therapy usually cite frustration with their partner as one of the significant issues they face. This frustration often is from unmet and unexplained expectations. Expectations play a huge role in relationship health. Couples who are frustrated find themselves saying things like ‘You weren’t very supportive of me when I quit my job’ or ‘Again, you did not plan any special activity for our anniversary’. Constant frustration can lead to resentment and create a break down in communication. This weeks blog on the-listening-rooms.com explores further. #expectations #frustration #communication #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Contained within the small circle of the wedding band are vastly contradictory ideals. We want our chosen one to offer stability, safety, predictability, and dependability… and we want that very same person to supply awe, mystery, adventure, and risk. #estherperel #intimacy #contradiction #desire #stability #relationshipcounselling #relationshipcounseling #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Change is inherently interpersonal in nature, sculpted by the emotional messages that occur in dialogue with another. #suejohnson #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #attachmenttheory #safety #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Throughout adult life the availability of a responsive attachment figure remains the source of a persons feeling secure. All of us, from the cradle to the grave, are happiest when life is organized as a series of excursions, long or short, from the secure base provided by our attachment figures. #bowlby #attachmenttheory #beresponsive #intimacy #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

It is in playing and only in playing that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self. #winnicott #playful #creativity #intimacy #secureattachment #safety #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

If there are any natural boundaries at all to prevent infidelity, they are so diffuse and easily crossed that their existence is barely recognisable. Micro-cheating is relationship terminology pointing to small behaviours that both approach and potentiate possible betrayal. This week’s blog on the-listening-rooms.com explores this further. #microcheating #infidelity #betrayal #youarenotalone #healing #buildingtrust #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Love enjoys knowing everything about you; desire needs mystery. Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is about having; desire is about wanting. An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than ...passionate about where it can still go. But too often, as couples settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. They forget that fire needs air. #estherperel #desire #love #mystery #mystery #unexpected #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounseling #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes
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In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities; our partner never really sees us. Love has an immense ability to help heal the devastating wounds that life sometimes deals us. Love also enhances our sense of connection to the larger world. Loving responsiveness is the foundation of a truly compassionate, civilised society. #drsuejohnson #eft #emotionallyfocusedtherapy #compassion #attachmenttheory #bonding #couplescounseling #couplescounselling #relationshipcounseling #relationshipcounselling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes

Love likes to shrink the distance that exists between me and you, while desire is energized by it. If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is about having; desire is about wanting. An expression of longing, desire requires ongoing elusiveness. It is less concerned with where it has already been than passionate about where it can still go. But too often, as couple...s settle into the comforts of love, they cease to fan the flame of desire. They forget that fire needs air. #intimacy #erotic #desire #love #mystery #passion #relationshipcounselling #relationshipcounseling #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes
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Anger is a normal emotion; one that everyone experiences from time to time, and one that is healthy when expressed appropriately. However, for some people, anger is an emotion they express far too frequently and is harmful and hurtful. Their anger gets out of control and begins to affect their life negatively and seriously. If you have a loved one whose constant outbursts of anger can make them unpleasant to be around, you may be wondering what, if anything, you can do. This ...weeks blog on the-listening-rooms.com focuses on dealing with anger in your relationship. #communication #selfregulation #overwhelmed #depression #boundaries #askforwhatyouneed #compassion #couplescounselling #couplescounseling #relationshipcounselling #relationshipcounseling #couplestherapist #modernrelationships #nostigma #mentalhealthawareness #the-listening-rooms.com #brightonandhove #brighton #hove #lewes
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