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Helping with resilience In times of difficulty it can be very difficult to remain resilient, however resilience is key to helping maintain good emotional health and wellbeing. How we view challenge is important, if we see challenge as a negative then we are going to struggle with it from the onset. If however we look at challenge and see it as an opportunity of learning from mistakes and learning new skills this can allow us to view the challenge in a more positive light; it ...
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https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov /about/coping.html
Hopefully useful information here.

Here we are in 2020 and I wonder how many people have made New Year’s Resolutions? When I think about a resolution it is a firm commitment to either do or not do something, it feels like quite a bit of pressure which may cause disappointment and a feeling of deflation if not adhered to which is perhaps not the best start for the year ahead. Perhaps changing to having New Year’s Goals instead may feel less pressurised as goals can be broken down into achievable chunks. So ho...w do we set goals? Firstly, think of that long-term goal, for example, I want to change career or become fitter / healthier this year. These are fine but potentially daunting if we don’t break them down. Let’s consider: What simple change can you make over the next week? If for example your goal is to change career, do you need to research what you do want to do? What is the best time to start? Is it in the evening when you have time or dedicating time at the weekend? Give yourself the best chance of success. Consider location and potential for interruptions too. What difference could this one change make to enhancing your life? If we are aware of the benefit, there can be a greater incentive to achieve What is your next step? In the example of career change do you need further qualifications or different vocational skills? Does this feel achievable on your own? Be honest about the levels of support you may need that will enhance your chances of success. Financial support, moral support, help with childcare / family etc will all have an impact If you feel you need help, who could offer you the help and support you need? How can you measure the success of your goal? It is very important to know when you have achieved your goal. This may sound odd but if you don’t have a way to measure, how do you know you have achieved? When you achieve each of your goals, no matter how small acknowledge the success you have achieved, recognise what you have done to enhance your life. Go back to step one and repeat with a new change for the following week and continue. If for any reason if didn’t achieve your goal, consider if it was too big and see what you can do to break it down even more.
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Seasonal Affective Disorder As the clocks have changed and winter is fast approaching, I felt that now would be a good time to discuss Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a type of depression effected by the seasons; mood can be significantly effected by the late autumn / wintertime where natural light is more limited. It can be very difficult to diagnose as it presents itself with similar traits as other forms of depression. What makes it different is if it can be note...d that it appears in the late autumn and winter, but the depressive symptoms significantly lessen / go away completely in the late spring and summer when light levels improve. Symptoms can include;  difficulty in feeling motivated  Difficulty in concentrating  Loss of interest in normal activities  Sleep problems such as; sleeping too much, not enough or having disturbed sleep.  Lethargy  Irritability  Changes in appetite such as craving certain foods (carbohydrates) and perhaps eating more frequently  Not wishing to socialise  Feeling overwhelmed  Changes to physical intimacy  Suicidal thoughts Consider how many of these are affecting you and at what level and duration. What causes SAD, it is generally thought that it due to reduced natural day light in the winter months. Reduced natural light can affect the brain slowing natural processes down and sometimes bring them to a halt. Serotonin has an impact on mood, appetite and sleep. It is possible that light has an impact on the levels of serotonin produced. The body clock, our body clock is influenced by light indicating time to wake and time to sleep. Genetics can also impact if we are more susceptible to SAD, so if you feel that you may be suffering from SAD try and speak to family if you feel able to see if there are any patterns. What can you do?  Try where possible to get as much natural sunlight as you can. (Be aware to keep yourself safe as even winter sun can have a detrimental impact on your skin)  Exercise can have a positive impact on not just physical health but also emotional.  Be aware of stress levels and what you can do to keep these reduced  Keeping a diary of how you are feeling can help you spot patterns  Seeking help from GP  Seeking the help of a counsellor to discuss what is going on for you.  Some people have used light therapy (a light box giving off white or blue light) Best to seek the opinion of a GP before doing this to ensure this is a suitable approach for you.  Speaking to family and friends to ensure their support and understanding. It is important that you are aware that this is a genuine condition and one that needs to be taken seriously.
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The 10th of October is World Mental Health Day. What can you put in place to support yours? Self-care is so important, consider your needs and remember the saying ..you can't fill from an empty cup. The power of a smile should never be underestimated as Spike Milligan once said: Smiling is infectious,... you catch it like the flu, When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too. I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin. When he smiled I realised I'd passed it on to him. I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth. A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth. So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected. Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! Look after yourself and if you can, see if there is anything you can do to help anyone else. Good mental health is important, support and allow yourself to be supported if that is what you need. Recognition of needs is a strength.
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A tricky subject I know but one by raising awareness of, we can make a difference. If you feel able to watch and take this training can I please encourage you to share, that one simple action can have a massive impact. Even if you feel you can't complete it can I ask that you still share as I have stated it can make literally the difference between life and death. Thank you.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day 2019. There is always someone to listen to you if you feel overwhelmed. Reaching out for help can feel like a massive step when feeling so low, however, there are people ready and willing to help by listening in a non-judgemntal way and offering support for what is going on as a unique individual. Seeking help from your G.P can be a great start, they can refer on to further services which may be required. If waiting lists are too long, ...remember there are alternatives of counselling support available by looking up directories such as Counselling Directory and Psychology Today (others are available)This will allow you to search for the right counsellor for you.
Samaritans are available 365 days of the year, 24 hours a day. They can be contacted on 116123.
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The Importance of Structure and Routine. This may seem like a strange thing to mention when I relate it to school holidays, but it is hugely important and can reduce stress and anxiety. Most of us struggle when the alarm goes off and we long for the days when we don’t have to set it. However, we tend to respond positively to structure and routine, when we know the plan for the day, what the expectations are can have a positive effect on our mental health. On the days we have... structure and routine in place we know exactly what, where, why and when we have to do things, this takes the guesswork out of our day. This does not mean it won’t be stressful, but we have eliminated one element of decision making. Children are exactly the same, they know the need to get up, have breakfast, wash dress etc and off to school they go, even the choice of clothing is dictated by the fact that they are going to school! When routine and structure are not in place children and adults can feel a sense of anxiety as they don’t know what is happening and can’t therefore prepare physically and emotionally. Routines and structure can bring comfort and a sense of control to our lives. By using structure and routine to plan we can make best use of the time we have available. Have you ever lost time asking each other what you want to do today only to find that you have lost a significant quantity of time and still have no plan?! Time is precious and by using it wisely we can all benefit. By establishing structure and routine you also set expectations. E.g. tomorrow we will be going to see Granny then we will go to the zoo and see Auntie Ann after tea. It is not saying there is no free time which is also important, but it is clearly setting the expectation of what will be happening tomorrow. Establishing structure and routine allows us a greater chance to achieve what we have set out to do, achievement builds our self-esteem and confidence which is something we can all strive for ways of building sometimes.
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How do you talk to others? Strange question to ask I know, however, how we communicate with others has a massive influence on the reactions / responses we get in return. I have been looking at this and thought I would share a simplified explanation of Transactional Analysis developed by Eric Berne. Transactional Analysis can help explain why we feel, think and act the way we do. If we analyse the way, we interact with others (transactions in this instance is the conversation ...
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The Wonderful World of the W! As May is Mental Health Awareness month, I thought I would ask some questions involving words beginning with W, sounds strange I know, but have a look and give answering these questions a try. If you wish to share any of your answers in the comments section that would be great, however entirely your choice. (I have answered a few questions to get the ball rolling!) Who is the real you? Who do you admire? Who knows the real you?! ... What makes you sad? What makes you happy? What makes you feel proud? Where do you feel most relaxed? Where would be your favourite destination be if money were no object? Where do you feel most stress? When are you going to make time for you today? When is your favourite time of day? When are going to ensure your needs are the priority you make others? Why not make May your time to ensure you are looking after your mental health? I am going to try!
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I thought I would share a resource I created to help around exam time when stress levels can be heightened. Please feel free to share. Time Out from Study! We all know that the season for exams is approaching. Just as important as studying is finding time to relax between study sessions and indeed between exams. Here are a few things to possibly help;  Firstly, it can be helpful to create a study timetable, please include regular breaks in there. If you have a timetable you ...have a plan and can see where your next break is coming up. When you include regular breaks, you make your study periods look more achievable.
 When you take a break make sure you leave the area where you are studying (if you study in your bedroom, perhaps go to the kitchen or sitting room). A change of view is good for you.
 Take some time out to exercise. Physical activity is known to help reduce stress. It doesn’t have to be too much …. Even if it is dancing around the house for ten minutes!
 Doing something that makes you laugh, could be watching something silly on YouTube or reading some silly jokes, once again laughter is known to reduce stress levels.
 Be aware of keeping human connections, meeting friends for a quick chat or even studying together.
 Alter the times you have a bath or a shower, if you use this as a break this can leave you feeling reinvigorated and ready to carry on with your learning.
 Take time out to read a chapter of a non-academic book you enjoy.
 Regular eating and drinking throughout the day. Ensuring healthy eating as this helps with brain function.
If feeling overwhelmed, it is good to do a grounding exercise.
 Find five things that you can see
 Four things you can touch
 Three things you can hear
 Two things you can smell
 One thing you can taste.
 This is an excellent strategy before going into an exam, usually takes about five minutes. (I find it handy to keep a packet of mints in my bag so that I always have something to taste)
It is very important that if you are struggling at all to speak to a trusted adult.
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Resilience
Today I thought I would look at resilience as it can have a significant impact on all of us. I spotted this quote and felt that it would be good to share as it is perhaps relatable to many. "Don't judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again." Nelson Mandela Resilience is our ability to bounce back, this can be influenced by many different life experiences as well as how we feel about ourselves. We are all resilient, however... this varies from person to person and how frequently challenges to our resilience are tested. The amount of support we have around us can help significantly in helping us harness our ability to be resilient. Believing in yourself and have others to reassure and encourage you has an amazing positive impact. How can we help our resilience?
• Good communication skills are really helpful, the ability to express yourself and your needs to others.
• Self-awareness recognise what is going on for you.
• Ask for help from someone you trust or a professional.
• Harnessing problem-solving skills, be aware of the skills you have and be aware of the skills of those around you, utilise these skills to help you.
• Set yourself realistic goals and try where possible to keep to them.
• Take your time, sometimes when we don’t give ourselves time this can have a detrimental impact to our resilience.
• Be true to yourself and not the expectations of others.
• Try not to be self-critical.
Resilience is something which can be improved, it takes time and hard work but it can be done. We can't alter what may test our resilience, but by improving our resilience we can increase our ability to cope.
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Characteristics of low self-esteem.
Some of the most common characteristics of low-self esteem are:
Depression / sadness.... Anxieties. Low mood. Avoiding of social situations. Feelings of inadequacy. Comparing self negatively to others. Difficulty accepting compliments. Neglect of own needs, particularly emotional ones. Putting the needs of others before self. Low expectations. Difficulty in making/maintaining relationships. Concern over impact you have on others. Difficulty in trusting own judgement. Distorted view of self. All of these characteristics lead us to shying away from experiences that we may once have relished. An exaggerated negativity of thinking encourages any experiences we have had to be blown out of proportion, which stops us from trying again.
Telling yourself to just be more confident will not work, as we need a solid evidence base in order to move forward. This is not a quick process, as chances are your confidence and self-esteem have been eroded over a significant period of time.
Think about the times when you feel your self-esteem was at its lowest (work, social situations, relationships, etc). By identifying this, you can start to work on it.
Some of the techniques you can try could be to:
Try becoming more assertive in a variety of situations. Do things which allow you to feel positive about yourself. Catch negative self-talk and consider the validity of it. Set yourself a challenge or goal. Make sure it is a realistic one! Take care of your physical self as well as your emotional self. Engage in activities which you enjoy. Where possible, avoid people who have a negative impact on you and connect with those who have a positive impact, or simply whose company you enjoy. Acknowledge your achievements no matter how small. Try not to avoid situations which you find uncomfortable; successful exposure can build confidence when you acknowledge the successes achieved. It can be of great benefit to consider things from the perspective of someone else, or take a ‘helicopter view’ of the situation. The helicopter view allows us to rise above the situation and see the whole view, not just our perspective. When we are close up, we are less objective; when we see the bigger picture, we can see the impact of each individual involved in the situation and be more objective about ourselves and others.
Do not judge yourself; accept that this will all take time, but with determination and a willingness to change you can make a significant difference to your life.
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I have been doing some more training and research and came across this video which I feel explains what is like to have depression really well. I hope you find it beneficial and interesting. If you feel it would help others please feel free to share. This is such an important subject and may give a vital way in to start a really important conversation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQG Yc

I am now accredited by The Foundation for Infant Loss after completing their training.

Today I found a quote that I felt was really worth a share. “You're not a priority if you're an option, you are a percentage. A percentage of that other person's time and effort. The size of the pie never changes, the slices do.” ― Tyconis D. Allison Ty I wonder just how many people this may resonate with. It certainly got me thinking. I feel it is also important to note that you need to make yourself a priority and not just a percentage of the time and effort you give others.