Planet Xeng

Greetings, puny earthling. Dock your interstellar transports at the Xeng Temple - Brixton Jamm - and set a course for our homeworld. Safe travels.

Salutations, citizens of the planet Earth.

You may refer to us as the Imperial Space-Pope Kölm, Arch Sorcerer Molag Baaldouk, Battlefleet Kommander Snilchard the Third, Royal Gershwizard of the Warp, and Quazar Cyber-Baron Donsam.

We are your martian Overlords, sent from the distant Planet Xeng to harvest your irregular genetic code, erase your pitiful minds and enslave your feeble species. Compliance is unnecessary; resistance is futile.

Our Mothership docks periodically at Brixton Jamm, London, to execute the Indoctrination Programme, codename: Xeng Rave.

The Xeng Rave operation makes use of one of the best soundsystems in the capital to deliver apocalyptic bass frequencies and total brain annihilation. A mind-bending visual experience accompanies the sonic output of our planet's top DJs, tailor-made by Xeng scientists to induce intense euphoria.

Monitor your radars, scanners and antennae for upcoming broadcasts - news data is being beamed your way.

Finally, a sponsored message from Arch Sorcerer Molag Baaldouk:

WE ARE HERE TO PARTY. PREPARE FOR OBLITERATION.

[End Transmission]
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