Psychologically Minded

Dear all, thank you for following me here. I will be taking a short maternity leave from here to focus on the little one, myself and the family. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you want me to post about the journey from a psychological perspective please dm with questions of themes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I will be continuing with long term clients from June. New clients for sleep interventions from July and new clients for family interventions from September. Please do be in touch to check for availability.

Something that I see often is how do we try for people to treat us more kindly, speak to us in different ways or show us different things. We can only ask, there is no way we can control others opinions and behaviours. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What we can control is what we are exposed to and what we make of it. For this we need boundaries. Imagine a limit that is there to protect you, to take care of you and to define what belongs to you and what belongs to others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To set boundar...ies you need to work on yourself, your likes, your dislikes, your triggers, your notions on judgements and many other things. Is an exercise to get to know yourself to then set that line to protect you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There has been a lot of talk about boundaries recently, do you have any favourite bits? What limits have you set that are working? Which ones you wish to set?
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The good thing is your brain can be trained and by doing your work you can make a massive difference on how you think about your #bodyimage ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭self talk: kind and compassionate. Think about what would you say to someone you love and frame it to yourself. 💭go back to a better place. Do you have a nice memory that you can draw from? Why did you feel comfortable in your skin then? is it the feeling, is the people around you, is it the confidence? 💭make it your business t...o identify something positive in you. You might start small but the idea is that you start to appreciate things that you are missing or are taking for granted. Challenge yourself. 💭comparison, make your life easier. Comparing yourself to impossible standards can be so damaging. Be around people that are embracing who they are and the way they look. They will show you how they are unapologetically themselves. 💭what is more attractive a size x or someone that comes in and commands the room? Probably the second one, why do you think this is? 💭value the other parts of your identity. Looks are a small part of who you are, what is the rest? 💭social media rest. Social media, adds and anything that bombards you with fake ideals are damaging. What you need to learn is strategies on how to protect yourself from it. Avoid it? Rationalise is sales and marketing? Follow only positive accounts? What works for you? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Could you start today by saying something positive about yourself?
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Many of my clients come to therapy for an specific issue and then suddenly they talk about their #bodyimage in passing. So many have distorted or negative views on how they look but because this are not technically dysfunctional they don’t listen to they way they refer to themselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Have you notice the things you say to yourself about the way you look? If you think about it now, how would you describe yourself? These are important questions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Imagine your ...mental health like a cup, a cup that you can add drops. Each drop represents something that is damaging to your mental health, what happens is that when your cup overflows you show an “issue”. Imagine the negative thoughts you have about yourself and your body image as drops filling your cup.
What are you glasses telling you? #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth
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I have learnt something today about #mothersday . Although I live in UK I still celebrate the special dates of my culture. #felizdiamama #felizdiadelasmadres hope you are having a lovely day wherever you are.
The American Mother’s Day was not founded on religion and was established by Anna Jarvis in the 20th century. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The occasion was first celebrated by Ms Jarvis when she held a memorial for her mother Ann at St Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia.... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Her mother was a peace activist who established Mother’s Day workshops for public health, and Anna Jarvis began campaigns to make the day a national holiday in 1905. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Ms Jarvis was successful in 1914 when Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation for the date.
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I kept on thinking about the #projectbodylove campaign. At 38 weeks your relationship with your body is a ambivalent one. You love what your body is doing but at the same time everything is annoying, hurts or you are tired. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Bouncing back is something that we are bombarded with. But at this point in my life bouncing back means more being functional that looking certain way. I know that I need to work on my pelvic floor, on my core, work on my resistance to endure the... work with the running around and work on my arms and legs to pick up my little ones. I know that I need a healthy, balanced and nurturing diet to replenish myself. Thank you to @chefgabysp ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I also know that for me to do this body work I need to work on my mind and take care of myself. So no pressure for me. I have learnt about temporary states (physically and psychological) and how to love the moment you are in. So bring it on postpartum, let me show you what my body and my mind can do.
Any tips?
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Thank you @drjessamy for the tickets to the #womenshealthlive . So many talks about self esteem, body positivity and mindful activities to be healthier in body and mind. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @foodandpsych was asked how can we teach our children about self image. I think this is an essential part to promote mental health so here are my tips for you: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭we all have parts of our body that we like and dislike. If we show our children how we appreciate our bodies they will learn to a...ppreciate theirs. 💭children pick up on our critical views. If we judge our and other people’s body by the way they look they will do this themselves. 💭how much image defines your identity and personality? This is something you have to think about your own self and think if this is something you want to teach your children. How do we value looks, resilience, work, free time, feelings and other important things in your life. 💭foster a good relationship with food. Food is nutrition, social activity, rewards and a mindful activity. 💭value children for who they are and the way they look. This will teach them to be comfortable in their own skin. 💭remember to model, they learn by looking and listening to you. Let them know how much you love yourself and the way you look. If you don’t feel like this, teach them why this is a difficult thing for you and what helps you to live a more fulfilling life even if you find something difficult.
#projectbodylove
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Responding to a child can be a difficult thing. Do we take it to literal? I am putting my child to sleep and he is crying because I am harming him. Or do we fall into pieces? He is crying because I am terrible mother and I don’t know how to do this?. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The child, in response, experience that their internal world is not manageable, no tolerable. Children learn by how their parents respond to their feelings and their behaviours. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So how can we respond to a chil...d to give them the best that you can? Do the work: look within. How do you respond to your child? Are you able to recognise what they are feeling without your own background interfering? Do you know how your early experiences shape your response?. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Doing the work means to be able to be in a space where you can be recognised, your feelings and thoughts resonate and you are seen. Next week I will share the vision that therapy is for self-development or self-actualisation. Therapy is a way to maintain our mental health, the gym to your mind.
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Yesterday I went to the parliament to listen to the maternal mental health talk. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Politics is not my thing really, but what is clear it that: a) conversation is starting and b) they have a looooong way to go to understand real peoples struggles.
So if that is your thing, write, talk and have the important conversations with your area representatives.
... #mumsmatter
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💭it is consider 12 months as postpartum period. Perinatal services (UK) offers help with that cut off point in mind. 💭maternal anxiety impacts on the mother wellbeing, parenting quality, the mother-infant relationship, the child physical and psychological development and inter parental relationship. 💭it has been thought to improve when adjustments to the new role become more familiar. 💭worries revolve around child and mother physical health, breastfeeding failure, couple rela...tionship, financial struggles, intrusive thoughts about harming the baby, new identity and role demands, lack of support. 💭guidelines advise that CBT treatment for symptoms management is the gold standard. It has been argued that this doesn’t help the mother-infant relationship or parenting quality which seems to have more effect on the child development and it can go beyond the postpartum period. 💭I personally think the 12 months cut off is ridiculous and separating understanding, treatment and impact is reckless for the mother, the child and the family functioning. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Does this sounds familiar to you? What else do you find interesting about maternal mental health?
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For #maternalmentalhealthweek I decided to focus on anxiety. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What bothers me the most about feeling anxious is forgetting the basics. Question everything makes me forget the things I don’t have to question. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀... To remember I thought about sharing 5 days of what you are good at. I started in my stories, share whatever comes to mind. Don’t put pressure. Is not about competing is about remembering the good bits that might be hiding under our anxiety glasses. Tag me so I can see you.
Have a lovely week.
#maternalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #psychologicallyminded #parenting #mothers #anxiety #mum #mama #mom #madres #madresreales
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With the birth of the baby there is also the birth of the mother. The postpartum period can be the most challenging of times for a mother. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There is the physical changes but also the psychological. The change in roles represent a loss and acquisition of new responsibilities. This is done in a see of hormones, sleep deprivation, less nutrients in our bodies, trying to figure out feeding and any other particular issues. You also have to navigate who you are in terms of your identity, as a woman, as a mother and as a partner. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Did you know that most mothers experience anxiety even if they don’t meet clinical levels?

I have been debating what to write in my post. The reality is that I am about to give birth, I am writing my research and I am still seeing clients for sleep interventions or short pieces of work. This means that I am tired. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ But warm holidays are what connects me with my former Venezuelan, beach, care free life. So I took every opportunity to enjoy the sun and cuddle with my family. PGP denial and running around. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Flipping part of my research needs to be ha...nded in on the first of may. This makes me freak out as I know I haven’t been able to put my full head on it. So I take my 4-5 hour to freak out, Venezuelan soap opera style; So I can go to bed care free. Being a mum is hard, doing a doctorate is hard, but being able to acknowledge it and scream, cry and make a fuzz about it works for me. So I hope to be posting a bit more but if not, I will be back after I fail on may 1st 😂. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Wish me luck or at least a 50.
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For all mums out there

We are in a world that likes to put names and categories to mental health issues. As a parents this can be challenging as difficult behaviour or emotions can be a tale sign of ... (insert the label that you fear most). Labels are not really bad if we take them for what it is. Labels can actually move professionals to get you the help you need. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What we need to understand is not matter if there is a label or not. Children have areas that need to be develop further, ar...eas that are “average” or that are not a concern and areas consider strengths. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ So think about the area that needs development (I.e. attention) and find strategies that help you build it. If labels start popping (I.e. add/adhd) and you worry, talk to a professional. Label or not label the strategy will help you develop your concern area. Professionals are the experts in labels but you are the expert in your child. You will guide professionals to think what fits for you, your child and your family. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What do you think about labels?
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💭if you are struggling, find help. There is nothing wrong with you. Adapting to parenting is hard and transition can take on many faces. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭find alternative things to do. Give yourself a break from damaging information. A good alternative is to find something that has made you feel confident, has given you a sense of achievement or pleasure. It could be something from before becoming a parent or from the present. Think about the small things and build up from that. ⠀⠀...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭try to get some better quality sleep. The key here is quality. Make sure that even if your sleep is broken you are protecting yourself. Go to bed early, try to find anxiety management skills that help you have a more restful night, leave caffeine away after 3 pm, try no to google at 3 am as devises interrupt your sleep more. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭share with other parents. Even if it is to listen to their struggles. Baby groups are excellent to meet other parents and to see them interact with their children. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭find people that are willing to help. A good nap, taking shifts during the night or having a hot meal can make a world of difference. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭be kind to yourself. You are the world to your child. In their eyes you are perfect. Make sure you give yourself space to recognise what you are doing for your family. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 💭you are always allowed to count to 10. Give yourself time to think before acting. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This is not an exhaustive list but something to begin with. What other things would you recommend?
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A parent that is struggling, can interpret every cry as a sign of distress. Which feed into a cycle of anxiety about our performance as parents and how we satisfy the needs of our babies. This gets intensified by night when our anxieties risen and we feel the weight of sleep deprivation. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A way to help is to have healthy sleeping habits at home. But how can we help our children to sleep if we feel this is damaging to them? If we feel this is what a “bad parent” would... do? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ More and more we find pseudo experts who claim certain methods are better than others. Mostly based on how loving and kind you are as a parent. Some predict the future and claim their approach is 0% tears. This only adds more pressure to already burden parents that google at 3 am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You find yourself thinking I need to let this happen even if I am not coping, all in the name of the well-being of my child. During the day I am so tired (frustrated, sad, worried) that I can’t enjoy or play with my child. I just want to sleep. Bedtime is a rush to get them sorted which makes sleeping for children even harder. And this becomes your new normal for the next weeks, months, years? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Is this you? What do you do to get by?
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Working with families makes you think about all the components of the system. Each of the parents mental health, the child’s mental health, the relationship between parents and the relationship between the parents and the child. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ When I started working with parents helping them with their children sleep, the approach most consultants took was to think about the child’s sleep association and development. More and more my plans include strategies for parents. Parents t...hat are able to work though their anxiety get more sleep no matter if their child sleeps improves. Parents that are willing to think about their roles and their relationship feel better supported to handle the demands of early parenting. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Does this sound familiar to you? Have you notice how some things influence your child and your sleep independently of food, routines, where you sleep and others?
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