Sir Ultimate Master Codeـــــﻫﻬﻬﻬﻬ

Ultimate Master is the great day ahead to the world

Any seed can grow into plant... Any thought can change your life... Therefore, plant useful & fruitful trees, Think about your life positively ..

BEFORE SEX !!! . Boy : Baby Are You Ready ? Girl : Yes Am Ready Love We Have Been Waiting For This For 4 Years Now. Boy : Yes We Have Love.... Girl : Promise Me You Won't leave Me After Taking My Virginity. Boy : I Promise My Love. Girl : Okay Love So We Going To Use A Condom ? Boy : Love i Trust You And You Trust Me Don't See A Reason For Us To Use A Condom. Girl : Yes Love I Trust You. Boy : Are You Sure You Ready Love Girl : Yes Am Ready Boo. . (*10 Mins later, After Sex*) . Boy : Wow That Was Great Love. Girl : Yes Love It Was Great But Am In Pain Now. Boy : Sorry Love you Have To Be In Pain Cause It Was Your First Time. Girl : Okay Love Hope Second Time It Won't be Painful. Boy : Nah Love Second Time It Won't Be Painful. Girl : Okay. . (*Few Days Later*) . Girl : Babe Am Pregnant. Boy : You What ? Girl : ( Crying )Am Pregnant. (The Boy Didn't Say Anything For 5 Minutes Then He Got Up And Went To His Room And Got Back. . After 15 Minutes) Boy : ( On His Knees ) I Have Been Waiting For This Day For 3 Years So Will You Make Me The Happiest Man In The World Will You Please Marry Me ? Girl : (Crying) Yes I Will Marry You Boy : Wow Thank You Love I love You So Much. Girl : I Love You Too My Future Husband. . (9 Months later The girl gave Birth To Two Beautiful Baby Girls.) . *A Year later they got married* ... . Surely Do Such Men Exist?? . Yes Or No ??
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ABEG NA JOKE I DEY OH:
When a man is called EMMANUEL Woman say her own na EMMANUELA…... My grandpapa dey ansa VICTOR. My grandmama com say ha own na VICTORIA. If man answer CELESTINE Woman say her name na CELESTINA Man answer JUSTIN Woman Say her name na JUSTINA.. Man answer CHRISTIAN Woman go kuku answer CHRISTIANA Man say him b AUGUSTIN Woman must answer AUGUSTINA. Man carry GABRIEL Woman go folo carry GABRIELLA.. Nawa o! Man answer JOSEPH woman say ha own na JOSEPHINE My guy dey ansa JESSY, his GF com say ha own na JESSICA. Man is called DANIEL. Woman will b cald DANIELLA. Man is Called Valentine woman say na Valentina.
So if man come answer EBO na, wetin woman go answer???
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Just last week i bought a DVD player,so when i got home i pluged it.........instead of showing no disc,what i saw was DISC NO DEY....i was really surprise,then i decided to put disk into it.instead of showing disc loading,it is showing me DISC DON DAY LOAD..........I Was really worried and a thought came to my mind that maybe if i off it,The DVD will be okay...so i off it,but to my greatest surprise,instead of showing DVD OFF,it showed me ONA BYE BYE O O O O.........With grea...t confusion i decided to check where it was made...
HMMMMM MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS GUESS WHERE IT WAS MADE?
. .
#Sir Ultimate Master
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My girlfriend said She doesn't want me again, I begged her but she insisted😭, I wanted to kill myself😭, I drank lacasera nd gala i didn't die, i ate bread and egg death still said NO, I ate goat meat pepper soup, no way, I ate fried rice and chicken, sharwama and pizza still no death . I decided to hang myself with tissue paper. If i don't die, please what else should i do? Should i lick ice_cream??😢😢 I need your advice please

Age 13............ avoid boys they are evil Age 18........... I don't want to ever see you with that boy Age 23....... we've not seen your boyfriend Age 26........... where is your boyfriend? your... mates are getting married Age 30............. . we've told you to stop selecting men Age 33.. ............ there is this powerful man of God in Lagos he has helped many others Age 39............. .. manage him like that, we'll take care of the wedding Age 42...... ..... God if it pleases you*tear*. Age 45............. ... I need it anyhow, weda JOBLESS or POOR, just be my husband:'(Hmmmm life. I pray it will not happen to anyone close to us. Let me hear u shout dat AMEN!!!
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1. You drank garri twice today, bought N100 recharge card and got 10mb, came on facebook and wrote "money no be problem"..... Your case dey court.
2. You dey owe mama ikenna N50 and you dey wear "my money grow like grass t- shirt".. Weldone oo!
3. You fit pay N5,000 enter club but for church na N20 be your offering.. God is watching u o
4. You are too big to dance in church but you go gaga crazy when you hear the (gbedu wey dey burst brain-OLUWA NI).. God dey watch u o
5. You're married but still chases other ladies and you claim you're going for refresher courses. Your cup go soon full.
6. Just because you met him in a bus and he bought you gala, you come store him number as "bros gala"... Sista tnk u o
7. U ar an o level holder, but nah u they sponsor your girl for uniben. My broda you be scholarship board?
8. You dey inside hotel room snap picture come upload am write "home sweet home", \ your mata dey God hand. .
9. You enter public transoprt #600 to go shoprite go snap picture with oda people goods, abeg wetine I wan tell u.
10.U way go read this my post, u no go comment, my dear u get leprosy for hand?.. You dey read this post but you no wan comments your matter go soon enter court.
lolz plz share joor
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Due to the sudden increase in the prices of food in Nigeria and the successful Integration of garri into the classes of food,we now deem it fit to introduce a better ways of drinking garri.
Which of these drinking garri habit do you love most?
1. Garri, sugar & Groundnut
... 2. Garri, sugar & Kuli kuli
3. Garri, sugar & Eja-dindin
4. Garri, sugar & Milk
5. Garri, salt & sugar
6. Garri, peanut & sugar
7. Garri, sugar & biscuit
8. Garri, salt & Eja sawa
9. Garri & ponmo-alata
10.Garri,& sugar, robo elegusi or alata
11.Garri & moimoi/ewa
12.Garri & Groundnut
13.Garri & Water
14.Garri & Eran dinidin
15.Garri & Coconut
16. Garri only. (Dry chewing)
NO FORMING here oooo. You can also enlighten us how you love to drink your own.
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A mum was lucky enough to see her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them "After your weddings,text me your first night experience and don't forget to text it in a coded way!" After a week, the first daughter sent 'NESCAFE' inan... sms 2 her mum while a week later, the second sent 'BENSON'. Their mum, as a 'soji woman' picked upa tin of Nescafe and read from d label "fantastic till dlast drop!" She also went to her husband's pack of Benson cigarettes and found written on it "Extra long, king size!" she thought aloud "not too badfor them at their age" A few days later, her third daughter's text comes in,"Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air information desk to inquireabout their Kano to Lagos flight. She was told, "Its 3 times daily, 7 days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes to and fro!" Mama throws herself in theair, lands, slumps and faints shouting..."Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo O! ( this one will kill my daughter!)"
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Women are the most wonderful creature I have seen on Earth, but am yet to understand why some men are busy finding faults upon faults on them!!! lets look at them... this way and tell me if am lying. . (1) Women are the only creature that can change their original surname just for the sake of love. (2) They are most easiest creature to convince. (3)They are the only creature that loves from the bottom of their hearts. (4) They are the creature that can prefer to go to bed with an empty stomach, just to make sure that their children feeds well. (5) They are the only creature on Earth that cries very easily, just to expose their inward disposition. (6) They are always awake even at the dead of the night just to make sure that their children are protected. (7) They can even sell out their cloths just to buy food for their children, and also see them smiling. (8) They are always ready to sacrifice their lives just to save the lives of their children. (9) They are always in the kitchen inhaling the smoke without complaining, just to prepare something for their children and husband to eat. (10) They are the only creature that can abandon their biological family and start up a new home with a stranger. (11) Even when they are battling with the pains of pregnancy, yet, they are busy looking after their husbands and children. e.t.c . If you love your mother and you appreciate what she did and is still doing for you just take one minute of your time to type "I LOVE MY MUM"
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See Conversation between satan and God . PLEASE Share This BEFORE YOU READ . Satan:Hahahaha... God; why are you laughin satan ; am not laughing God ; then what are u doing? satan ;am smiling God ; why smiling satan : u said this is ur child? GOD: which one? Satan ; the one reading this GOD :of course this is my child satan : ha since morning your child have not even mentioned your name not even once God : but still i love my child and i know he does too. Satan: no he doesn't, this child is mine, since morning has been committing sin ..and bad and evil thoughts are in his mind. God : satan your a liar, i created this child in my own image and likeness.. Ok to prove that his mine, wait and see him comment. "AM FOR GOD" satan : hahaha ok lets wait and see ok lets make a deal God : ok satan if he ignores the message his yours and if he Comments and SHARE then his mine, deal? Satan: ok deal.. Hahahaha God : satan why are u stil laughing? satan : am laughing because no one cares and no one will comment God : lets wait and cee God : the choice is yours
Kindly, comment & share.
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WHICH ONE WILL YOU MARRY?? (1) Virgin but lazy (2) Intelligent but unfaithful (3) Social but prostitute (4) Beautiful but dirty... (5) Rich but ugly (6) Prostitute but Preedy (7) Older but Rich (8) Christian but poor (9) Ugly but intelligent (10) beautiful but short (11) Christian bt illiterate (12) Ugly bt smart (13) Beautiful but no brains
drop ur comment!
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Which Of These Is Your Month... ??? . 1. JANUARY - Pretty/handsome. Loves to dream, Recover when hurt, Down-to-Earth and Stubborn. . 2. FEBRUARY - Easily hurt, Gets angry really easily but doe shows it.... . 3. MARCH - Hardly shows emotions, Tends to bottle up Feelings. . 4. APRIL - Work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. . 5. MAY - Attracts others and loves attention. . 6. JUNE - love to make New friends, a great flirt And more than likely very attractive. . 7. JULY - Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. . 8. AUGUST - Always a suspect. Playful, Mysterious 'Charming' Loves music, Daydreamer, Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted... . 9. SEPTEMBER - Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave, fearless, Adventurous Loving and caring. . 10. OCTOBER - Loves to chat, Lies but doesn't pretend, Always making friend Easily hurt but recovers easily, Extremely smart, but definitely hottest AND sexiest of them all. . 11. NOVEMBER - Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous, playful, but secretive and independent. . 12. DECEMBER - good-looking, better than all these other months, Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything, hard to understand,Love able and Easily hurt.. . Which Of These Is Your Month Of Birth?
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"IN EVERYTHING GIVE THANK"
A rich man looked through his window and saw a poor man picking something from his dustbin ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not poor.
The poor man looked around and saw a naked man misbehaving on the street ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not mad.
... The mad man looked ahead and saw an ambulance carrying a patient ... He said, Thank GOD am not sick.
Then a sick person in hospital saw a trolley taking a dead body to the mortuary ... He said, Thank GOD I'm not dead.
Only a dead person cannot thank God.
Why don't you thank GOD today for all your blessings and for the gift of life ... for another beautiful day.
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