Military Humour, Nostalgia And Wit

Sod it, seems fine. Spread it round, it’s about as reliable as the majority of the output from the British Bullsh*t Corporation.

“THE GREAT TOILET ESCAPE” - A Simply Marvellous Story Of One Officer’s Ingenuity and Bravery in Escaping from Captivity With Dignity But No Equipment or Clothing! ***THE LESS EXCITING NEWSPAPER LINK OF THE STORY IS AT THE END OF THIS TEXT***
Our hero Captain “Whizz” Bang, an EOD Bomb Disposal Officer, attended a ceremony to celebrate the reformation of 49 Field Squadron. Following on from this, and as a good leader should on occasion, Captain Bang socialised by drinking 2 or... 3 small sweet sherries with his chaps. After an hour or two, and with conversation about the Regimental Rose Bushes starting to dry up, the properly reverent junior personnel invited their esteemed leader, our very own hero “Whizz”, to accompany them back to barracks where they could all have a restorative cup of tea before going their separate ways. Captain Bang was congratulating himself on his ability to correctly talk down to the Other Ranks once a year or so, when suddenly everything went wrong in the Chaps’ barracks.
Whizz started feeling rather squiffy, at first suspecting that the milk in his tea may have turned, but before he could react further he calmly and in a dignified manner fell unconscious, as only a true officer and gentleman can.
When he came to, Captain Bang assessed his surroundings. He had been stripped naked and made captive in a bathroom in the barracks. No doubt his loyal chaps had gone to bed early and some ruffians had found him and imprisoned him, he surmised. His captors made demands for increased wages and better conditions, which is when Whizz realised that this was all part of a sinister communist plot and that his tea had been drugged!
Being an officer of some ingenuity, courage and resourcefulness (see ‘British Officer’ in the Sandhurst Dictionary) after 6 hours of labour he tunnelled through the bathroom wall and made his escape.
Details after this are not given, but I imagine that after 3-4 weeks on the run, our gallant Captain “Whizz” Bang made it back to the officers’ mess, having survived off the land and avoided enemy communist patrols.
Captain Bang, I salute and imagine that it can only be a matter of time that we see the award of your DSO in the London Gazette. Huzzah!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Bomb-squad -captain-locked-toil…
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Trump gets quite enough stick on here. And it’s well deserved. But don’t lets forget that if it wasn’t for him, the lying duplicitous Clinton would be in the White House, so erm..... Umm, it was a bit of a no win situation over there really, wasn’t it?

Hmm. Comments?

Just wow. Might be of interest to our American friends too.

Thoughts?

Call your local Armed Forces Careers Office - TODAY!

Some words by a modern ‘folk’ band here to go with the picture. I’ve changed one of the key words in the verses, see if you can guess which one it was.
“Your life's been wasted You'll die forsaken You act like the world's on your shoulders... But it's not there so you fake it
Do you embrace it? How do you take it? I'll never feel the way that you feel I'd rather flipping break it
Burn mother flipper, burn mother flipper, burn You try but you can't reach me Burn mother flipper, burn mother flipper, burn There's nothing you can teach me.”
- Five Finger Death Punch (My Dear Old Mum’s fave band (available for children’s parties and wedding bookings)
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A request in from a lad who is deployed in the Middle East theatre. Hopefully we can help him out.

Does anyone else wish the Kurds (or whoever is holding them) would just execute these subhumans in the same way they killed so many worthy people in the past, which is all the despicable scum deserve? I cannot believe that anyone is listening to the mother of one of these animals. Who gives a sh*t what she thinks or wants?

Well, it took 20 minutes to make this tat up and I’m pretty sure it would be more effective than the “It’s okay to have a cry or a pray in the Army” campaign. Anyone know how much the MOD pays the agencies for these? I’m looking to cover the cost of the annual MOT repairs on my Vauxhall Viva and 2 weeks in Benidorm or Skegness.

Fake News.

I’ve heard less valid excuses for commercial flight delays in the past....

I’m sat here, quietly finishing my coffee, wondering who will be either brave or stupid enough to share this......

IRA Hyde Park bomb suspect lives life of luxury while British veterans remain under investigation
The IRA’s Hyde Park bombing suspect is living in a luxury beach front home, having transferred ownership to his wife after being sued over the atrocity.
Relatives of the murdered soldiers spoke of their disgust that John Downey, acquitted after receiving a ‘comfort’ letter, is able to enjoy his retirement while, in contrast, Army veterans of the Troubles remain under criminal in...
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Should be fine.

Awwwwww.

Phone calls from theatre... yeah. Pretty good, as a rule. But the old days of Blueys had something going for them....

EDIT: I’ve deleted 3 homophobic comments on here this morning. Please don’t leave anymore. You can be a homophobe if you want, just do it in the privacy of your own home behind closed doors.
Is anyone else wondering what is happening in the UK? We have equality, we have diversity. Why are the Police bending over backwards (cue silly Carry On gags) to promote a parade for a minority of the country’s population at public expense (the car, not policing a public event, which is obviously fine)? I don’t understand. I’m awaiting the comments calling me a homophobe etc - but I genuinely am not. I couldn’t give a sh*t what floats your boat or anyone else’s. Oh well, the comments should be fun I suppose.....

Hmmmm.

great, hope to visit often, might even learn something

absolutely brilliant... the banter is enough to make anyone`s day... keep up the good work guys .. its appreciated :)

What I do like : My daily dose of Military Humour, Nostalgia and Wit makes life worth living.

What I do not like : the morons who complain and/or criticise the content no matter how obscene, un PC, insulting or degrading it is. (Get a life)

Very funny if you have the right sense of humour. Also good for snowflakes who wish to be shocked and have something to complain about. So good all round and seems to treat the RAF with the reverence it deserves

Top notch humour for Military Guys and Gals.

Always look for this FB site, first every day :)

This site is both shocking and highly offensive....AND I LOVE IT!!! My morning routine has been thrown completely into disarray. Previously it was coffee and harass the wife, in no particular order (although the coffee never told me to p*ss off!). Now it's check this site first for my daily dose of offended and then harass the wife or have coffee. From the southern tip of Africa, the SAAF love your offensive posts, and my wife gets 5 more minutes of sleep!

Realy funny hopefuly this page stays up and dosent get taken down

Military Humour, it does what it says on the packet!

I had heard the rumour that the RAF were out of step at the Royal Wedding as well as the Navy but hadnt seen the video evidence until i visited this site.

Highlights issues of concern to the Services and provides excellent humour.

Makes the odd gaff like we all do but I'd usually on the ball.

Keep up the good work.



Now back to the day job........= feet up.

Fantastic contribution to the world really funny but also wise to the harmful issues and bad things out there. Keep it coming you are a great site.

But then again maybe Not. Only another 9 charact

Best Military wind-up source since the Wars of the Roses. Not for softies. snowflakes, the sensitive or the humourless - I'm pleased to say!

If you are military, former military or family. You will really enjoy this. Ubique.

great, hope to visit often, might even learn something

absolutely brilliant... the banter is enough to make anyone`s day... keep up the good work guys .. its appreciated :)

What I do like : My daily dose of Military Humour, Nostalgia and Wit makes life worth living.

What I do not like : the morons who complain and/or criticise the content no matter how obscene, un PC, insulting or degrading it is. (Get a life)

Very funny if you have the right sense of humour. Also good for snowflakes who wish to be shocked and have something to complain about. So good all round and seems to treat the RAF with the reverence it deserves

Top notch humour for Military Guys and Gals.

Always look for this FB site, first every day :)

This site is both shocking and highly offensive....AND I LOVE IT!!! My morning routine has been thrown completely into disarray. Previously it was coffee and harass the wife, in no particular order (although the coffee never told me to p*ss off!). Now it's check this site first for my daily dose of offended and then harass the wife or have coffee. From the southern tip of Africa, the SAAF love your offensive posts, and my wife gets 5 more minutes of sleep!

Realy funny hopefuly this page stays up and dosent get taken down

Military Humour, it does what it says on the packet!

I had heard the rumour that the RAF were out of step at the Royal Wedding as well as the Navy but hadnt seen the video evidence until i visited this site.

Highlights issues of concern to the Services and provides excellent humour.

Makes the odd gaff like we all do but I'd usually on the ball.

Keep up the good work.



Now back to the day job........= feet up.

Fantastic contribution to the world really funny but also wise to the harmful issues and bad things out there. Keep it coming you are a great site.

But then again maybe Not. Only another 9 charact

Best Military wind-up source since the Wars of the Roses. Not for softies. snowflakes, the sensitive or the humourless - I'm pleased to say!

If you are military, former military or family. You will really enjoy this. Ubique.