Funeral And Body Burning Services

mj stopped by at our shop today
whats up dog

janet gives the customer a frigjt
Sorry for the inconvenience

well done to PC Todd who found a big sword in our back alley bins today, we'd like to clarify that it is not ours and any one who says it is will be banned
Well done Todd

We sent this in to the ad blokes to be advertised but it was declined
wh

the n man

someone is at the door

Sorry for the inconvenience today in the parlour, a customer got rowdy
he will no longer be frequenting our establishment

Kev I can see someone desecrating the cemetery on the cctv get down there now

Kath was slobbing on my knob last night until she burped up her lunch on it
She is no longer apart of our team

a brief mp4 file explaining what we do and what to expect from our award winning funeral services
Thank you ~ Kev

Look were on t he telly, very ok

I forgot the dead customer left his buffalo to us in his will
shij

Kev, can you tell G. Heffley to bring the spare tools down

the shitter is running
Opening times are will continue back to normal tomorrow

Thank you for 24 years of burying people in the Preston community
From th staff

our staff greeting George entering the parlour (2008)

i'd die twice just to come back here again.

only concern was that tony hawk kept tapping on the windows and i could hear him we could hear him he did not stop i wish he stopped oh god



thanks guys!

The. Food. Was. Exquisite. Although i found some things...Weird. during dinner, i ordered today's special and found an earring latched on to one of the pieces of meat on my plate, it was burnt and rusted, and it has this strong metallic taste, very odd for a silver earring; it also seems that the rust on it can be easily scrapped off with a spoon, it somehow resembled dried blood as it felt aged and soft for burnt rust, but that couldn't be right? If it were then it must've been from the pig, no actually, it didn't taste like pork; it didn't taste like beef, goat, chicken, dog, cat, snake, rabbit, or an illegaly poached pangolin. It was a meat that i have never tasted before in my entire life (that's what made it exquisite). It seemed so bizarre that i questioned the chef about it, all she said that it's an expensive meat that can only be purchased deep in the market as it was hard to come by, and that the meat came from an animal that is native to the region I live in. I asked no further questions and just happily finished my platter. After that I stood up to thank the waitress for serving the meal and went on my way. I still have a few questions about your restaurant, from how were you able to acquire such a costly and exotic meat? to why was the kitchen/workplace dark when i saw the waitress walk in there? Though that doesn't matter. The restaurant's decor was so captivating! I loved that greek setting and the burial slates where a nice touch, although coffins for tables is quite questionable tho. 8/10 would reccomend to some christian friends of mine

P.S the waitress was pipin hot

Service was amazing, amazing food, amazing drinks, with a calm environment

Really interesting work, id like to thank the boys at *insert page name here* for their work on this fine page, it is very satisfying to stare at diseased corpses being burnt it fills me with a sense of joy, sincerely from the bottom of my heart ���

My cremation service was amazing! The staff are super friendly and very considerate of my needs. If I rise from the dead again I know who I'll call.

Incredible and prompt, thoughtful service. Within an hour of my booking, I was able to visualise the human tendie I always desired in the wrapper of my choice(checkerboard red and white). I didn't even have to PM or call; they somehow knew my deepest, most forbidden delicious desire and served it up with a smile. Ranch on the side, wish I could give 6 stars for excellence and delectable crunch. 11/10, would take grandmammy here again.

I went there directly asked if they take walk-ins and they escorted me to the waiting area which was very comfortable and had good entertainment and food. 10/10. Would come again for my next death.

I give it 5 stars, even though they refused to bury me alive.

I arranged to have my cremation here, upon arrival i immediately noticed the smell of formaldehyde and death, a smell which is surely enticing to me, after being offered a cup of tea and a biscuit to make up for their lateness, i sat in the waiting room reading a copy of March 1989 playboy edition, which was rather sticky tbh, must be embalming fluids, anyway i was later called in around 11:30 to discuss who my ashes were going to, i then replied ''Nobody wants my ashes, so dispose of them as you please, or snort them if that's what you are into''. The agreement was made and i layed down onto the big metal sliding tray i would be pushed into the cremation chamber in, and without warning BAM! I am roasting at 1800 degrees Fahrenheit, such a toasty heartwarming, or shall i say heart melting feeling. 10/10 would recommend.

Great, not much choice for parking as there was a coffin being loaded into the back of a hearse in the front parking space so I had to park up the road outside the fish and chip shop but that didn't affect the service



Proper good

Grampa loves it here, i’d recommend it to all seniors!

Fast and reliable burning when needed on such short notice, Peter said that if I need to get rid of another girlfriend he will meet me at 1am if I slip him £20. 10/10. Will use again.

Best Hibachi spot around! Was really cool to watch them cook the food in front of you. 11/5, cool place.

Being burned alive here was the best experience I could’ve asked for! Thanks guys!

A good place to hang, watch the game, and knock back a few brews with the lads on the weekends. The buffalo wings are a bit on the crispy side and have an odd shape to em. Not to mention the ranch tasted kinda funny.

crispy, but not too crispy. not crisp enough. needs more crisp.

When I die bury me with all my ice on

When I die bury me without the lights on

Lights off, nightlights

Clothes off, baby, I got good white

I went here to have my funeral and cremation, but, they told me I had to be dead before they would help me out.

To be fair, Kath was a lovely gal, (and the whole reason I am giving them at least a 3 star review), and it is a shame what she is having to go through with the lawsuit and all; but I was really displeased about being told I had to wait to have my services.

Beyond that, the floral arrangements that Kath and Barrett have put together are phenomenal pieces; and the asbestos coffin is sure to help insulate the burning fires of hell that await me in the afterlife. I will certainly be back once I have found someone to kill me; and after that I will change my review to at least 4 stars.

Said the bodies had to be deceased before processing, very disappointed. My grandma is terminal and she's hogging the shed out side that I want to free up for jerky smokehouse. I will be selling the jerky at 5 dollars a half pound.

i'd die twice just to come back here again.

only concern was that tony hawk kept tapping on the windows and i could hear him we could hear him he did not stop i wish he stopped oh god



thanks guys!

The. Food. Was. Exquisite. Although i found some things...Weird. during dinner, i ordered today's special and found an earring latched on to one of the pieces of meat on my plate, it was burnt and rusted, and it has this strong metallic taste, very odd for a silver earring; it also seems that the rust on it can be easily scrapped off with a spoon, it somehow resembled dried blood as it felt aged and soft for burnt rust, but that couldn't be right? If it were then it must've been from the pig, no actually, it didn't taste like pork; it didn't taste like beef, goat, chicken, dog, cat, snake, rabbit, or an illegaly poached pangolin. It was a meat that i have never tasted before in my entire life (that's what made it exquisite). It seemed so bizarre that i questioned the chef about it, all she said that it's an expensive meat that can only be purchased deep in the market as it was hard to come by, and that the meat came from an animal that is native to the region I live in. I asked no further questions and just happily finished my platter. After that I stood up to thank the waitress for serving the meal and went on my way. I still have a few questions about your restaurant, from how were you able to acquire such a costly and exotic meat? to why was the kitchen/workplace dark when i saw the waitress walk in there? Though that doesn't matter. The restaurant's decor was so captivating! I loved that greek setting and the burial slates where a nice touch, although coffins for tables is quite questionable tho. 8/10 would reccomend to some christian friends of mine

P.S the waitress was pipin hot

Service was amazing, amazing food, amazing drinks, with a calm environment

Really interesting work, id like to thank the boys at *insert page name here* for their work on this fine page, it is very satisfying to stare at diseased corpses being burnt it fills me with a sense of joy, sincerely from the bottom of my heart ���

My cremation service was amazing! The staff are super friendly and very considerate of my needs. If I rise from the dead again I know who I'll call.

Incredible and prompt, thoughtful service. Within an hour of my booking, I was able to visualise the human tendie I always desired in the wrapper of my choice(checkerboard red and white). I didn't even have to PM or call; they somehow knew my deepest, most forbidden delicious desire and served it up with a smile. Ranch on the side, wish I could give 6 stars for excellence and delectable crunch. 11/10, would take grandmammy here again.

I went there directly asked if they take walk-ins and they escorted me to the waiting area which was very comfortable and had good entertainment and food. 10/10. Would come again for my next death.

I give it 5 stars, even though they refused to bury me alive.

I arranged to have my cremation here, upon arrival i immediately noticed the smell of formaldehyde and death, a smell which is surely enticing to me, after being offered a cup of tea and a biscuit to make up for their lateness, i sat in the waiting room reading a copy of March 1989 playboy edition, which was rather sticky tbh, must be embalming fluids, anyway i was later called in around 11:30 to discuss who my ashes were going to, i then replied ''Nobody wants my ashes, so dispose of them as you please, or snort them if that's what you are into''. The agreement was made and i layed down onto the big metal sliding tray i would be pushed into the cremation chamber in, and without warning BAM! I am roasting at 1800 degrees Fahrenheit, such a toasty heartwarming, or shall i say heart melting feeling. 10/10 would recommend.

Great, not much choice for parking as there was a coffin being loaded into the back of a hearse in the front parking space so I had to park up the road outside the fish and chip shop but that didn't affect the service



Proper good

Grampa loves it here, i’d recommend it to all seniors!

Fast and reliable burning when needed on such short notice, Peter said that if I need to get rid of another girlfriend he will meet me at 1am if I slip him £20. 10/10. Will use again.

Best Hibachi spot around! Was really cool to watch them cook the food in front of you. 11/5, cool place.

Being burned alive here was the best experience I could’ve asked for! Thanks guys!

A good place to hang, watch the game, and knock back a few brews with the lads on the weekends. The buffalo wings are a bit on the crispy side and have an odd shape to em. Not to mention the ranch tasted kinda funny.

crispy, but not too crispy. not crisp enough. needs more crisp.

When I die bury me with all my ice on

When I die bury me without the lights on

Lights off, nightlights

Clothes off, baby, I got good white

I went here to have my funeral and cremation, but, they told me I had to be dead before they would help me out.

To be fair, Kath was a lovely gal, (and the whole reason I am giving them at least a 3 star review), and it is a shame what she is having to go through with the lawsuit and all; but I was really displeased about being told I had to wait to have my services.

Beyond that, the floral arrangements that Kath and Barrett have put together are phenomenal pieces; and the asbestos coffin is sure to help insulate the burning fires of hell that await me in the afterlife. I will certainly be back once I have found someone to kill me; and after that I will change my review to at least 4 stars.

Said the bodies had to be deceased before processing, very disappointed. My grandma is terminal and she's hogging the shed out side that I want to free up for jerky smokehouse. I will be selling the jerky at 5 dollars a half pound.