Birth And Beyond

The Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale... How did you find it?
My experience leads me to believe that many people choose whether to be honest or not. This can depend on so many factors - how they feel about the person asking the scale, how they feel on that day, how much support they feel they have around them, how safe they feel about their relationship with their baby... I could go on.
Which is why I think there need to be a lot of different approaches to identifying postnatal depression. We can look at factors that increase the likelihood of postnatal depression (like using Parentkind), we can look at symptoms and we can also ask direct questions.

Give yourself a treat... add the sound...
Loss of pleasure...
You might remember that statement from the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale - ‘I have looked forward with enjoyment to things.’ Sometimes it can be hard to notice when you stop looking forward to things, when you stop finding pleasure, unless someone asks you directly.
... Loss of enjoyment of life can happen at many times, and for many reasons - too much stress, too little sleep, sickness, bereavement, money worries, relationship issues...
A friend of mine used to notice that when she felt depressed, she would start to wear darker colours - she just couldn’t enjoy her bright clothes. Another friend just couldn’t enjoy food - it was just something to be endured.
Loss of appetite for things you used to enjoy may not seem a massive thing, but it’s always worth just making a mental note of when it happens. What’s going on for you? And is there something that needs to change?
#lossofappetite #lossofdesire #lossofenjoyment #lossofpleasure #whatmakeslifeworthliving #colourtherapy #psychotherapy #edinburghtherapist #rollingwaves #portobellobeach #getinthesea
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We are so often given the impression that there is a 'right' way to feel, especially when pregnant or when you have a new baby.
There is SUCH a diversity in the range of experiences that mothers have - it's not as simple as 'joy' or 'despair'. Our experiences and our bodies are so unique - that we are all going to have different experiences at times.
What's great in this story is that this woman recognised that what she was experiencing was different to what other mothers seemed to experience, and rather than internalising that as being something 'wrong' with her, she looked for answers. And kept looking until she worked out what was going on, when the initial answers she was given were unhelpful. ❤️

We need more of these kinds of service...
One of the things that we can often ignore is infant mental health.
Because it's often easier to ignore that than to address the reality of what it might mean to notice it. And that can be especially awful to think about when we don't have services to help do something.
... It's one of the reasons I trained in Brazelton Newborn Observations and Video Interaction Guidance, because I think that supporting parents to be able to look at their babies, without being scared of what they might see, is crucial.
https://www.bdct.nhs.uk/services/little-m inds-matter/
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I think that a lot of women I meet know what this article is talking about. Unfortunately some of them won’t get the support they need, and may go on to become depressed.
The problem for many women with young kids is that the suggestions given here take time. More time than might seem possible - and that’s a barrier right from the start.
If this feels like you, I’d encourage you to check out Tricia Murray’s course ‘Overcome the Overload’ which is a supportive way of looking after yourself and takes 5 minutes a day. It is based on EFT but also incorporates other elements. Worth taking a look. ❤️

Crisis
The Chinese word for crisis includes the symbols for ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’.
When someone comes to see me in a crisis, they are often responding to their internal sense of danger. There is perhaps little sense of the opportunity. But there must be enough hope for them to get through the door, to believe that I can help them.
... I’m not going to pretend that the sense of opportunity comes quickly. But little by little, sometimes unnoticeably, change occurs. Sometimes it can feel as though it’s almost at a cellular level. But so many people talk about their sense of being the same and yet completely different when we finish working together.
There are rarely sexy, earth moving moments of epiphany in the work I do - it’s more about slow, incremental, deep internal movements that create a lasting sense of change.
When you become pregnant or a parent, your desire to protect your child is highly activated. So if you sense any danger towards your child, including from your own internal state, that can precipitate a crisis. One of the biggest drivers of people coming to see me is the desire to ‘get it right’ for their child. It’s often only later that it becomes apparent that this desire to protect your child from this danger is an opportunity for you to get what you need for yourself.
I’m not going to recommend having kids as a reason to start this process (!) but having a sense that there might be an opportunity in your crisis can be a source of hope... ❤️
#crisis #mentalhealth #postnataldepression #postnatalanxiety #change #opportunity #danger #intergenerationaltrauma #psychotherapy #edinburghtherapist
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Please share with anyone who you think might be interested. ❤️

Just brilliant! Both parents need time with their babies to learn about this new relationship and have time to rest and support each other. This is great... let’s hope lots more companies follow their lead...

Really energising and thought provoking day with Tricia and Cat at the @birthbetter training in London today. And really, really good to connect with other people passionate about making birth better for EVERYONE. Perinatal Trauma can be reduced - let’s make that happen...

What nourishes you?
Yesterday I was dog tired and needed to look after myself a bit so I cooked this just for me. I find ratatouille such a comfort food - it takes me back to childhood summers where we would eat ratatouille for (what felt like) months after my mother’s success growing tomatoes and courgettes...
Warmth and comfort and unami nourishment in a pan - boom 💥
... I believe that most of us have the power to get nourishment, but sometimes things get in the way. I’ve noticed that mothers who are not depressed or anxious can allow themselves to receive help to nourish themselves - in fact they might actively seek it out. They don’t find that having the baby prevents them from finding moments of nourishment.
That’s not to say that everyone can get help - and that’s a whole different chat - how important practical help is to your emotional wellbeing as a mum. But if you notice that you can’t take in nourishment or don’t see it as a priority, it might be worth speaking to someone who loves you, or a health professional. Noticing that you’re not looking out for yourself can be hard, but if you become aware of it there is so much you can do - please do chat to me if you’re stuck on that. ❤️
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This can be really true for many women. Mother’s day can feel like a kind of torture, a reminder of what they’ve given up or how much has changed. It can feel anything but joyful.
It’s great that Liv Siegl has written about this, as it’s something that can be so painful for so many women.

This really resonates with me... I think I’ve been trying to articulate why I’m not over the moon about this new drug. And it’s because I think we need to tackle the causes as well as the symptoms of depression.

Absolutely.
We often don’t realise the layers and layers of trauma that might be going on during these times.
It can make a very upsetting time so much harder.
... Trauma-informed therapy involves making sure that you are not re-traumatised by the therapy. It involves making sure that you are kept safe during the process, and able to function. It’s useful to know that there can be a difference, and ask your therapist if they are aware of this.
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I’m not a couples therapist (I can give you names of the lovely folk I would recommend if that’s what this makes you think you need) but I time and time again how by allowing me to enter into their emotional worlds, the people I work with feel more able to interact with others. It really is life changing stuff.

What stops you from talking about how you are feeling?
Are you worried people won’t understand? Are you worried they might judge you? That someone might think you’re not fit to be a mum?
Awfully, these are really common experiences and the researchers here have teased out quite a few of them.
... One of the things I’ve noticed in my work is that after coming for counselling, women tell me how they find it easier to talk with other people about how they are feeling. It maybe that’s because they have clarified things in their own minds, or because it has reduced their shame being able to tell me about feelings that feel so awful. It maybe for other reasons. But I often think that counselling can be really good for allowing people to start accessing other sources of support.
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Video Interaction Guidance is something I’m really passionate about - it is so effective in terms of developing confidence in parents, something that can be cruelly taken away by issues such as postnatal depression or anxiety. Here’s a brilliant example of how it can be used...

The title of this article is a bit of a red herring - it's mainly talking about the dilemmas of taking medication when you're pregnant.
This can be very upsetting and traumatic for many women - as every part of you wants to protect your baby, but you don't know if that means taking medication to help you be able to look after your baby, or not taking medication in case it has an impact on your baby. The way information is presented can also be extremely anxiety provoking.
If you want to talk about this and have some space to think about what is right for you and your baby, pregnancy counselling can be very effective. Pregnancy Counselling & Care -Scotland can support you with this, or else you can talk to me about working together: sarah@birthandbeyond.com

Do you want to be a perfect mother or a good enough mother?
[I know that some of you might have differing views on this mother - please ignore that if it's distracting you from the point of the article!]

There is no right way to recover from depression.
Medication and therapy are proven, but even these can differ so much. What's important is not to give up, but to keep trying until you find what works for you. I know that's so often easier said than done, especially when you're depressed and exhausted, and my heart goes out to you if that's the case.
If you'd like to chat about what's going on for you - please do get in touch (sarah@birthandbeyond.com). Even if counselling isn't what you need, you might find it helps to start talking about what's going on to someone who isn't connected to you.

There are honestly no words that can give justice to how much I have gained from Sarah’s services. I went to Sarah after entering into a very low point in my life. I was very anxious, having panic attacks and felt stuck in a place that I very desperately wanted to get out but didn’t know how. I had spent the previous few years in a cycle of pregnancy and breast feeding and then further stressors just tipped things over the edge. I was very angry with people that were close to me and really felt like I had no control over my own life because of their actions. When I first went to Sarah I believed quite strongly that their was nothing wrong with my behaviour, it was purely the actions of my husband and other close family members that were causing my anxiety. Because of this, I wasn’t sure that counselling would be able to help. WOW was I wrong! Sarah was amazing! Within a few sessions she was able to help me see the situation from a fresh point of view and really untangle all the strong emotions I had been attaching to certain triggers. It was an emotional journey and quite difficult at points but her supportive and non-judgemental demeanour helped to get me through it. I am now in a point in my life where I feel much happier than I ever was before and I have a re-newed love and appreciation for my husband, my family and myself. She has taught me skills to help me deal with my anxiety as well as just life in general. I cant recommend Sarah enough and there really are no words to describe how much she has helped. Thank you so much Sarah, you words and wisdom have changed my life in the most fantastic way possible!

Sarah's newborn observation session helped me to discover what kind of interaction my son responded to and tested his ability to settle. It's increased my confidence when playing with him so I know that he will be interested and can prevent overstimulation. Sarah also had some great tips on how to settle him and good positions to comfort him. This was followed up the next day with a written recap of our session which was very much appreciated as it can be hard to remember everything on the day. The session has been a big help that will hopefully make for a happier parenting experience.

Sarah visited my seven week old son Reuben to carry out an observation earlier this week. Sarah has a very calm and reassuring manner, which ensured my son was relaxed throughout the session.



Sarah was able to provide sound insight into our baby's body language and signals, allowing us as parents to gain a better understanding of how we might interact and respond to his needs.



It was reassuring to know our son's development is on track. We have taken on Sarah's suggestions as to how we can interpret and further support his development.



Very useful session, thank you.

Sarah provided a very safe, calm and supportive space for me to start addressing some of my issues and trauma post-birth, working with me at a gentle pace that was intuitively (on her part) exactly what I needed. She allowed me to see past the fog, and slowly begin to process some difficult emotions and move towards a more positive outlook. Also, importantly, she was extremely accommodating to my family situation, offering myriad diary options until we found something that could work around my limited baby care!

Sarah helped me after my wee girl had four months of extreme colic crying which was very emotionally draining as we had no local support and I am doing much of the caring on my own, together with my husband in the evenings. It also meant that at four months we had to begin to establish a routine as we could not do this before...still very much baby led...but helping us all move forward together, supporting us as a family. Sarah's kind, gentle and compassionate listening and suggestions were totally non judgemental, supportive, not prescriptive...just what I needed. I now feel more positive about being able to cope as a new parent, and able to do better for my little girl.

Sarah came over when our daughter was just a couple of weeks old and gave us some really interesting tips which we have used since to read when she's tired or overstimulated. She was really natural and confident around Freya and put us all at ease.

I am not sure where to start when recommending Sarah at Birth and Beyond as she is absolutely amazing! I got in touch with Sarah at the beginning of last year when I felt like I wasn't coping. My first session with Sarah was a bit of a blur as I must have told her my life story in 60 minutes. I came away exhausted but relieved that someone could help me figure out what was going on. Sarah is so easy to talk to and really helps you understand what you are feeling. She helped me realise I was suffering from anxiety following the birth of my son and was something that I had potentially been surpressing for a while. Reaching out to Sarah was one of the best things I did

Deciding to seek help for my pregnancy anxiety was a huge step; I was anxious about meeting a counsellor and about facing up to my feelings and guilt about my pregnancy. I needn't have worried so much, Sarah is very caring in her sessions and there is never any judgement on the feelings discussed.

She completely hit the nail on the head for my issues and that really allowed me to move out of the guilt shadow that had been suffocating my pregnancy. After discussing all the issues she was also able to signpost towards other ways of helping me.

I will also feel guilt that when I fell pregnant I wasn't jumping up and down with glee but working with Sarah has enabled me to now move on from that, discuss it and form a new bond with my baby that feels loving and secure.

Getting help at any stage is better than becoming isolated with your feelings so try and take the step to go speak with Sarah; you'll not regret it.

There are honestly no words that can give justice to how much I have gained from Sarah’s services. I went to Sarah after entering into a very low point in my life. I was very anxious, having panic attacks and felt stuck in a place that I very desperately wanted to get out but didn’t know how. I had spent the previous few years in a cycle of pregnancy and breast feeding and then further stressors just tipped things over the edge. I was very angry with people that were close to me and really felt like I had no control over my own life because of their actions. When I first went to Sarah I believed quite strongly that their was nothing wrong with my behaviour, it was purely the actions of my husband and other close family members that were causing my anxiety. Because of this, I wasn’t sure that counselling would be able to help. WOW was I wrong! Sarah was amazing! Within a few sessions she was able to help me see the situation from a fresh point of view and really untangle all the strong emotions I had been attaching to certain triggers. It was an emotional journey and quite difficult at points but her supportive and non-judgemental demeanour helped to get me through it. I am now in a point in my life where I feel much happier than I ever was before and I have a re-newed love and appreciation for my husband, my family and myself. She has taught me skills to help me deal with my anxiety as well as just life in general. I cant recommend Sarah enough and there really are no words to describe how much she has helped. Thank you so much Sarah, you words and wisdom have changed my life in the most fantastic way possible!

Sarah's newborn observation session helped me to discover what kind of interaction my son responded to and tested his ability to settle. It's increased my confidence when playing with him so I know that he will be interested and can prevent overstimulation. Sarah also had some great tips on how to settle him and good positions to comfort him. This was followed up the next day with a written recap of our session which was very much appreciated as it can be hard to remember everything on the day. The session has been a big help that will hopefully make for a happier parenting experience.

Sarah visited my seven week old son Reuben to carry out an observation earlier this week. Sarah has a very calm and reassuring manner, which ensured my son was relaxed throughout the session.



Sarah was able to provide sound insight into our baby's body language and signals, allowing us as parents to gain a better understanding of how we might interact and respond to his needs.



It was reassuring to know our son's development is on track. We have taken on Sarah's suggestions as to how we can interpret and further support his development.



Very useful session, thank you.

Sarah provided a very safe, calm and supportive space for me to start addressing some of my issues and trauma post-birth, working with me at a gentle pace that was intuitively (on her part) exactly what I needed. She allowed me to see past the fog, and slowly begin to process some difficult emotions and move towards a more positive outlook. Also, importantly, she was extremely accommodating to my family situation, offering myriad diary options until we found something that could work around my limited baby care!

Sarah helped me after my wee girl had four months of extreme colic crying which was very emotionally draining as we had no local support and I am doing much of the caring on my own, together with my husband in the evenings. It also meant that at four months we had to begin to establish a routine as we could not do this before...still very much baby led...but helping us all move forward together, supporting us as a family. Sarah's kind, gentle and compassionate listening and suggestions were totally non judgemental, supportive, not prescriptive...just what I needed. I now feel more positive about being able to cope as a new parent, and able to do better for my little girl.

Sarah came over when our daughter was just a couple of weeks old and gave us some really interesting tips which we have used since to read when she's tired or overstimulated. She was really natural and confident around Freya and put us all at ease.

I am not sure where to start when recommending Sarah at Birth and Beyond as she is absolutely amazing! I got in touch with Sarah at the beginning of last year when I felt like I wasn't coping. My first session with Sarah was a bit of a blur as I must have told her my life story in 60 minutes. I came away exhausted but relieved that someone could help me figure out what was going on. Sarah is so easy to talk to and really helps you understand what you are feeling. She helped me realise I was suffering from anxiety following the birth of my son and was something that I had potentially been surpressing for a while. Reaching out to Sarah was one of the best things I did

Deciding to seek help for my pregnancy anxiety was a huge step; I was anxious about meeting a counsellor and about facing up to my feelings and guilt about my pregnancy. I needn't have worried so much, Sarah is very caring in her sessions and there is never any judgement on the feelings discussed.

She completely hit the nail on the head for my issues and that really allowed me to move out of the guilt shadow that had been suffocating my pregnancy. After discussing all the issues she was also able to signpost towards other ways of helping me.

I will also feel guilt that when I fell pregnant I wasn't jumping up and down with glee but working with Sarah has enabled me to now move on from that, discuss it and form a new bond with my baby that feels loving and secure.

Getting help at any stage is better than becoming isolated with your feelings so try and take the step to go speak with Sarah; you'll not regret it.

There are honestly no words that can give justice to how much I have gained from Sarah’s services. I went to Sarah after entering into a very low point in my life. I was very anxious, having panic attacks and felt stuck in a place that I very desperately wanted to get out but didn’t know how. I had spent the previous few years in a cycle of pregnancy and breast feeding and then further stressors just tipped things over the edge. I was very angry with people that were close to me and really felt like I had no control over my own life because of their actions. When I first went to Sarah I believed quite strongly that their was nothing wrong with my behaviour, it was purely the actions of my husband and other close family members that were causing my anxiety. Because of this, I wasn’t sure that counselling would be able to help. WOW was I wrong! Sarah was amazing! Within a few sessions she was able to help me see the situation from a fresh point of view and really untangle all the strong emotions I had been attaching to certain triggers. It was an emotional journey and quite difficult at points but her supportive and non-judgemental demeanour helped to get me through it. I am now in a point in my life where I feel much happier than I ever was before and I have a re-newed love and appreciation for my husband, my family and myself. She has taught me skills to help me deal with my anxiety as well as just life in general. I cant recommend Sarah enough and there really are no words to describe how much she has helped. Thank you so much Sarah, you words and wisdom have changed my life in the most fantastic way possible!

Sarah's newborn observation session helped me to discover what kind of interaction my son responded to and tested his ability to settle. It's increased my confidence when playing with him so I know that he will be interested and can prevent overstimulation. Sarah also had some great tips on how to settle him and good positions to comfort him. This was followed up the next day with a written recap of our session which was very much appreciated as it can be hard to remember everything on the day. The session has been a big help that will hopefully make for a happier parenting experience.

Sarah visited my seven week old son Reuben to carry out an observation earlier this week. Sarah has a very calm and reassuring manner, which ensured my son was relaxed throughout the session.



Sarah was able to provide sound insight into our baby's body language and signals, allowing us as parents to gain a better understanding of how we might interact and respond to his needs.



It was reassuring to know our son's development is on track. We have taken on Sarah's suggestions as to how we can interpret and further support his development.



Very useful session, thank you.

Sarah provided a very safe, calm and supportive space for me to start addressing some of my issues and trauma post-birth, working with me at a gentle pace that was intuitively (on her part) exactly what I needed. She allowed me to see past the fog, and slowly begin to process some difficult emotions and move towards a more positive outlook. Also, importantly, she was extremely accommodating to my family situation, offering myriad diary options until we found something that could work around my limited baby care!

Sarah helped me after my wee girl had four months of extreme colic crying which was very emotionally draining as we had no local support and I am doing much of the caring on my own, together with my husband in the evenings. It also meant that at four months we had to begin to establish a routine as we could not do this before...still very much baby led...but helping us all move forward together, supporting us as a family. Sarah's kind, gentle and compassionate listening and suggestions were totally non judgemental, supportive, not prescriptive...just what I needed. I now feel more positive about being able to cope as a new parent, and able to do better for my little girl.

Sarah came over when our daughter was just a couple of weeks old and gave us some really interesting tips which we have used since to read when she's tired or overstimulated. She was really natural and confident around Freya and put us all at ease.

I am not sure where to start when recommending Sarah at Birth and Beyond as she is absolutely amazing! I got in touch with Sarah at the beginning of last year when I felt like I wasn't coping. My first session with Sarah was a bit of a blur as I must have told her my life story in 60 minutes. I came away exhausted but relieved that someone could help me figure out what was going on. Sarah is so easy to talk to and really helps you understand what you are feeling. She helped me realise I was suffering from anxiety following the birth of my son and was something that I had potentially been surpressing for a while. Reaching out to Sarah was one of the best things I did

Deciding to seek help for my pregnancy anxiety was a huge step; I was anxious about meeting a counsellor and about facing up to my feelings and guilt about my pregnancy. I needn't have worried so much, Sarah is very caring in her sessions and there is never any judgement on the feelings discussed.

She completely hit the nail on the head for my issues and that really allowed me to move out of the guilt shadow that had been suffocating my pregnancy. After discussing all the issues she was also able to signpost towards other ways of helping me.

I will also feel guilt that when I fell pregnant I wasn't jumping up and down with glee but working with Sarah has enabled me to now move on from that, discuss it and form a new bond with my baby that feels loving and secure.

Getting help at any stage is better than becoming isolated with your feelings so try and take the step to go speak with Sarah; you'll not regret it.