Cambridge Punters

It's not too late to pull this one back from the brink of disaster...
#Punting #ValentinesDay #Cambridge #VisitCambridge

CUSTOMER ANNOUNCEMENT:
We are aware that several punt companies have closed today due to what Cambridgeshire Live are calling “the worst storm since 1987” - and several customers have contacted us with concerns.
We would like to assure everyone that we would never knowingly send our staff or customers into danger without first getting them drunk.
... Our Risk Assessment task force will be holding a meeting in the pub where we will ascertain whether or not it is possible to open, and we should have a decision by 11am.
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We’re expecting 60mph winds on Sunday... what do you think? 🤔

So you’re buying your significant other a lovely bunch of flowers for Valentine’s Day?
I mean, that’s fine we guess.
It’s not like bees need those flowers to survive. Bees whose numbers have been plummeting. The irreversible loss of which could catastrophically compromise our eco-system, leading to widespread pollination-failure of major food crops.... There are riots. Government collapses. Human society comes crashing to an end all because of MAN’S HUBRIS.
All because man was too cheap to spend a meagre £80 on a private punt tour instead of some flowers...
https://www.cambridgepunters.com/…/vale ntines-punting-tours/
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It is the widely held belief of all Cambridge residents that everywhere is a bicycle rack. Tree? Bike rack. River? Bike rack. 17 story Neogothic masterpiece? Stick a bike on it.
One of our jobs as inhabitants of the river is returning these wayward vehicles to the land #Cambridge #Punting #visitcambridge #greentourism

#DollyPartonChallenge #Cambridge #punting

Today, Burns Night and Chinese New Year will coincide - an event that will not happen again for 76 years (year of the Dragon, since you ask).
But, people of Cambridge, which great poet will YOU be celebrating?

It’s time to find out the winner of our competition! There were many entrants, and sadly there can be only one victor. We would however like to make honourable mentions to all of our staff members who entered AND GOT THE QUESTION WRONG. Roman Lutoslawski Daniel James - please report to Staff Training Room B and sit in the blue chair. And to everyone else who either works for us or is related to us, sadly your entries were disqualified.
And now to the winner! ... The question was: Dr Watson complained in 1818 about an “evil custom” that would “destroy our superiority over Oxford”. But was he talking about moving lunchtime, or giving degrees to women?
The answer was LUNCHTIME. Cambridge did not issue women with full degrees until the 1940’s.
We got Jeremy and Dan to draw the names out of the social media manager’s hat, and the name they picked was: Urwa Ali.
Congratulations, Urwa - please contact customer service to claim your prize!
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Good news, punt-fans. It's COMPETITION TIME. In 1818, Dr Watson (not THAT Dr Watson, the Regius Professor of Divinity) had this to say:
"an evil custom has, within these few years been introduced to the university, which will in its consequences destroy our superiority over Oxford, and leave our scholastic exercises in as miserable state as theirs have long been"
But what was he referring to? Guess correctly and we will enter you into a prize draw to win TWO free tickets on a shared tour. One for you, and one for someone you like. Or two for people you don't like to get them away for 45 minutes.

499 times out of 500 going punting at dusk is a surefire way of getting wet, cold, and grumpy. Once in a blue moon though it pans out and you’re left with the conviction that the 499 catastrophic misfires were worth it
#cambridge #punting #visitcambridge #dusk

A question we often get in the winter is; why on earth would anyone want to go punting in the cold and the wet?
To which we have a simple answer: Because you have impaired your decision-making faculties with an invigorating and festive cup of mulled wine!
But where does the discerning Cambridge customer pick up the best glass of festive tipple?
... We’re glad you asked. Very glad. Because here at Cambridge Punters – we do the hard drinking so you don't have to. No longer will you have to go from vendor to vendor, seeking the greatest Mull… We have located all of the best local suppliers around Quayside and ranked them…
IN THE FIRST EVER MULLED WINE OLYMPICS
Check out our latest blog-post to see how Cafe Foy, Cambridge Wine Merchants, Pickerel Inn, and The Maypole measure up!
https://www.cambridgepunters.com/the-mull ed-wine-olympics/
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So, Black Friday is upon you and you’ve already punched the clerk in PC World, forced your way through the window of John Lewis, and floored a 96 year old pensioner to get first dibs on last season’s wide-screen TV...
You feel no guilt, this is Black Friday. If nana didn’t want to be trampled on the floor of the electronics section then she shouldn’t have run with the big dogs... But you *do* feel the need for some rest and relaxation after a hard day’s pillaging. Perhaps you... feel the need for some PUNTING?
Can you get a Black Friday discount on the river cam too?
Yes, yes you can. And here is the best news of all: You don’t even need to bum-rush our sales team to get it - we have enough discounted tours for EVERYONE - and all you need to do to redeem them is enter the voucher code “BlackFriday” when booking your tour online.
Because here at Cambridge Punters we put the “less” in “unbridled, senseless materialism” 🤑😍😎
#blackfriday #punting #cambridge #puntingincambridge #visitcambridge
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There he stands. In a punt. In the pouring rain. The lone watchmen. Waiting to see if someone, anyone, feels like a punt tour. Some would give up. Some would say that trying to do business in these conditions is reasonable grounds for detention. But not us. We remain ever vigilant just in case... there, see that? a person! Do they want to go punting? No. Of course they don't. False alarm. But any minute now. They'll be here. They can't resist our negotiable bad-weather pricing and chirpy perseverance against the odds.
#Cambridge #punting #puntingincambridge #visitcambridge

In our experience a mulled wine also helps - but yep, it’s now confirmed BY SCIENTISTS. Punting will make you happy.

You work hard to create a unique brand identity and then Facebook delivers this burn...
Rutherford's Punting Cambridge

And just as he’d decided to cut towards himself, with a non-locking blade, and no safety gloves on... the health and safety executive arrived
😱
#halloween #horrorstory

The first thing we teach trainees is not to fall asleep in the punt. Your colleagues will set you adrift. You could wake up anywhere.
#Cambridge #Punting #visitcambridge