Couples Relationship Counselling Glasgow

If things are fraught at home and there seems to be no way to communicate then get help. I can be that impartial facilitator to support you to work through difficult issues. You can book an spoilt by calling me on 07732324387. Patricia Lyon DipC

If you have problems in your relationship which seem to go on and on then give couples counselling a try. Professional, experienced counsellor will help you see the wood from the trees and understand each other better. Call Patricia on 07732324387 for an initial chat.

Christmas is advertised as the time for peace and joy but the reality for many couples is very different. Negotiating between family visits, time together, getting space...is often a huge stressor in relationships. Often it comes down to communication and unrealistic expectations of ourselves or from others. Couples counselling can help to find new words to express your needs and negotiate a happier, less stressful Christmas.

We each as individuals learn how to 'do' relationships within our original family. How we developed our original family relationships will be where our 'default' button lies when under stress e.g. when meeting new people. If we learned how to be open, curious and welcoming, we put people at ease. If however, you learned to be wary, closed and reserved, then we give off the message to others that we don't want to be approached, and are in fact rejecting others. If you feel that others reject you then it might be helpful for a moment to reflect on what you give out by way of body langauge. It might be the body language you are projecting to the world that's the issue.

Feedback from a couple who have just finished working with me: ' When we first came to you, we were already on a trial separation. The work you took us through helped us understand each other's point of view and understand that much of the values that brought us together in the first place were still there. Understanding how each of us had evolved to become unsuccessful 'mind readers' through your communication work allowed us to communicate openly and honestly without being ...scared of the consequences. The biggest difference is that we no longer go 'on the defense' as soon as the other opens their mouth and we are back to listening to each other. We are planning to move back together in a planned and gradual process to slowly work through our thoughts and needs. See you in 3 months. It's nice to know that we are coming back and not left to get on with it on our own :)
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Frames of Reference is a term used to describe the point of view you are interpreting something from . In couples work, the disagreements are often about different points of view or interpretations about what a comment, look or behaviour means. Communication is the key. Check in with your 'other' if what you hear upsets you e.g. Can I check that you meant 'x' because that's making me feel angry. Often they mean 'y' because our interpretation has been filtered through past hurts and we are sensitive to certain words or tones. Getting help from me to help the communication can be the starting point in a more healthy relationship. Patricia LyonDipC

Walking is the best exercise: Walk away from the argument that leads you nowhere but anger; Walk away from the people who deliberately put you down; Walk away from the thought that reduces your worth;Walk away from the failures and fears that stifle your dreams; The more you Walk Away from the things that poison your soul the Happier your life will become;... Walk towards the conversations that allow you to be heard; Walk towards the people who support and uplift you; Walk towards the thoughts that inspire and uplift you Walk towards the life that will make you who you want to be; Walk towards happiness.
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How many times in your life, do you find yourself “not minding” and what message is that giving to yourself and to those around you. What does not minding really mean. Does it mean you don’t mind.. or could it mean:
I do not want to be a bother. I do not want to risk not having what you are having in case that risks our relationship. I want to please you, so to please you I will have what suits you.... I prefer others to make my decisions for me; then its not my responsibility if it goes wrong. I am giving you a message, that you are more important than me. I do not matter and I have no mind. I may want something you do not approve of and you then you may not like me any more. I am not sure I can trust you to still like me if I share my mind honestly. Now, think about it; if you are not able make a simple decision regarding what you want to drink; how easy do you find making bigger decisions? If you are in the habit of not minding…. what message are you giving yourself and others?
What would it mean to have “ a mind”… maybe its like exercising a minding muscle; one that gives you evidence that you do matter and it is one of the first steps in being a better friend to your self. You know how it goes; you ask some one what they want to drink.. and you do not let them say they do not mind. You invite them to mind and tell you what they do want…. why? because they matter to you and you want them to have what they really want.
What would it be like if you offered yourself the same level of care? I invite you to begin to notice how many times a day, and in what situations you find yourself “ not minding” and begin to explore why.
Next time you are asked what you want; think about minding; say what you want, be courageous.
So enjoy being curious about minding and becoming better friends with you,
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Is your relationship feeling the strain? Learning how to speak with each other rather than at each other is one of the first steps to sorting out problems. Call 07732324387 for a free initial appointment,

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Surviving an affair can feel impossible. Working to understand that an affair is often a symptom of deeper emotional problems in the relationship is often the start to repairing the deep hurt and mistrust an affair leaves. Couples Counselling will explore the relationship before the affair and help each person express their feelings and be heard by the other. Counselling can allow the safe space and a third party to facilitate the communication needed to gain understanding about options for moving forward. Don't leave it until the damage is beyond repair. Get in touch on 07732324387

For those of you in a relationship where sex is on the back burner because one of you doesn't want any but the other does, here is a useful TED talk which might help you think about each other in a different way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ep2MAx95m 20

Your days are your life in miniature: as you live your days, so you live your life.
If your relationships are struggling then help is at hand. Changing what you do within a relationship, with your partner, family or friends will help you start to form relationship in a different more meaningful way. Working with couples to help them listen to each other, to hear each others' point of view is the start of determining how to resolve differences or to decide that ending a relati...onship is the way forward. This can be hard to do on your own which is why couples counselling is an effective way to get out of the rut and begin to live your lives again. Call me today on 07732324387 for a free initial consultation.
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Are you and your partner/spouse sitting in different rooms hardly talking? Maybe it's time to get the communication going again . I specialise in transactional anslysis which is s gentle , non-judgemental way of changing how we listen and talk to each other. Most couples report that after 4 weeks they are communicating comfortably again and after 6 weeks working with me are confident that they can move to fortnightly sessions with monthly sessions coming soon after . Don't le...t your relationship go past the point of no return. Call me today and book your initial free consultation to find out how I can help you both get back on track! Tel: 07732324387 Email: patricia.lyon@btinternet.com
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MY PARTNER SEEMS VERY CLOSE TO A WORK COLLEAGUE Emotional affairs usually start with a friendship that has 'crossed the line'. By this it is meant that the boundaries around that friendship, that prevented it from posing a threat to your primary relationship, have become blurred over time. Emotional infidelity occurs when your partner starts exchanging intimacies and secrets with a friend that they would normally share with you.
If your partner wouldn’t have wanted you to hea...r or see these interactions, a line was crossed. If there was also secrecy involved and physical attraction, there was a high risk that this emotional affair would have evolved into a combined affair, where both physical and emotional infidelity occurred.
Not every emotional affair will lead to physical infidelity. For some individuals, there is a boundary that they won’t breach. If your partner decided to end the friendship and has taken the risk to tell you about what has happened, there is a good chance that the relationship would not have progressed further.
If you need help to communicate your concerns then book a session on 07732324387 to come along and get some help. You can come to couples counselling as an individual if your partner doesn't want to come with you.
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HOW CAN WE IMPROVE COMMUNICATION? Set aside time to talk when you will not be interrupted. Take it in turns to have air time - some people find setting a timer for five minutes, one speaking while the other listens, then reversing the process, can create a space for each to talk without interruption.
Tell your partner how you felt, feel or will be feeling about something without blaming them. This can be tricky but it is a very useful way of owning your feelings.
... Plan to go together somewhere that provides an environment you both find relaxing e.g. a walk in the park, a drink at a pub or a coffee when you're shopping, etc.
Remember that communication isn't all verbal. Consider what your body language communicates to your partner about what you're both saying.
Don't be surprised if there isn't an improvement straight away - you wouldn't expect to dance the salsa after only one attempt would you?
If you think you need to improve your conversations, these tips might be useful. If you're still having problems communicating as a couple, then get in touch with me on 07732324387 where you can find support in learning to talk to each other in a more relaxed, effective, way.
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