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Brining you local News you want for free. These stories are 100% fabricated, do not believe a single word.

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10 YEAR CHALLENGE
Argyll and Bute Council have joined in with the social media craze, the 10 year challenge. But in a twist they have given an alternative version by displaying what the waterfront will look like in the future.

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WE’RE OOT
On a very important night for the future of Britain in Westminster, praise should be given to Big Brendan fae Glesga who on behalf of Argyll and Bute told wee Theresa (unconfirmed )tae “shuv it right up yer hoop doll” Fair play big yin 👏🏻

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10 YEAR CHALLENGE
The 10 year challenge is sweeping the world of social media. The challenge is for you to upload a photo of yourself from 2009 and one from this year. Below is one we've had sent to our office, but they never left a name. Please help us find out who it is by tagging them.... Thanks in advance
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SNOW WAY
With reports coming in that we are due a bit of a cold snap this week, including the possibility of some snow over the weekend. We have captured the current scenes in Waitrose carpark of people buying every loaf and pint of milk going.

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News just in, “I’m wearing a boaby havin a pish.”

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Merry Christmas to all our followers.....Ya bunch a wee rides

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All men in the Burgh on receiving another Lynx Africa box set this morning

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Christmas time .....

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DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA After unbelievable scenes at Westminster tonight with Theresa May wining a vote of confidence and deal or no deal being spouted by news correspondents more than Noel Edmonds, the British public have displayed how desperate they have become by publically calling on a South American footballer to come to our aid over the BREXIT fiasco.

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TWIST AND SHOUT
Helensburgh natives are rejoicing at the new addition to an online takeaway service. Local Indian cuisine restaurant Masala Twist have joined Just Eat. Now that's not usually a big deal but the clincher for some is the fact that they will deliver wine straight to your door. Angie Bryceland of Malcolm place said " Its the best thing to happen to this town since Lido's doing chips, cheese and gravy. I was right on there tonight and placed my order, not a ba...d price either....£63.50 for a portion of chicken pakora, 3 bottles of white and 2 bottles of red." Her partner Davie added " Ats me naw needing to leave the hoose at aw. Am rivaling that wee bastard upstairs who does nothing but plays fortnite and occasionally bursts into a wee poofy dance. All I need noo is to tie ma drone to the dug and am fuckin sorted".
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CHIP STOP
We have managed to capture exclusive footage of Faslane military police springing into action this afternoon on the A814. The incident was sparked when a raging bus driver notified them that someone had the audacity to eat a fish supper on the base bus.

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DENNY BOTHER With American breakfast chain Denny's about to open up their first restraunt in Scotland at Breahead this month, we've been showing Helensburgh locals a Denny's menu and asking if they would welcome the chain in our town. Andrew Ball from Charlotte Street said " Whit the fuck is a Lumber Jack Stack? Can ye stick Broon sauce on it?" He continued" It's Pancakes? Fur breakfast? Aw away tae fuck man, ye might as well Huv a Jam Rolly Polly fur breakfast. Am oot." Construction worker Peter Armstrong had a look at the menu along with a colleague "Here Joe, your fucked they don't dae a piece and bacon, haha get it up ye. Aw here by the way, they huvnae even got a roll and square sausage wae tottie scone, they can poke that up their arse."

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As we enter into December, we have clocked one home on Kirkmichael Road has got into the festive spirit a bit too much. I mean, how many Christmas trees do you need?

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THIS 👇🏻 is a pure beamer for English football.🙈

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AYE YER MAW
Today we are trying to kick start a new Facebook movement in Scotland and beyond. We would like all of you to participate. It's a doddle to do. Just reply to as many statuses on your news feed with the words AYE YER MAW and include a pic of a women of mothering age giving the finger. It doesn't matter if it's an individual or group status you reply to. Oh and when they ask WTF is this about PM them, don't explain yourself for everyone to see. Or even bette...r, jist fuckin patch them. This one's a freebie for you all.
AYE YER MAW!
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While it has been well publicised, the pope arrives in Ireland this week and Jeremy Corban visited Greenock. But here in the Burgh HRH E.R. just cuts aboot unannounced on her days off.

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