Chõiic Records

UK Independent Record Label / / Alternative Rock / / Home of 'GLUM'

Chõiic Records started it's life as a clothing brand not wanting to be a brand, named Chõiic Clothing. You can see the originality there can't you. Then we decided fashion sucks and is for all intensive purposes a pursuit of egotistical self assertion of popularity through one's insecurities (without sounding all Russell Brand). However, thanks to this we still make pretty damn good tshirts. We thought what better industry to go into from the fashion industry? We really loved the capitalist dream of using slave labour to make the products cheap enough so we can pay our phone bills and excessive pubic grooming habits. We thought rather than using children in factories (the reason we decided to not carry on with trying to make the products cheap enough to live off) we could apply the same formula to the artists we sign. They do all the work, we take their money, brilliant! Suckers! Seemed to us totally moral when we met with Wonga for business advice. 'There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, our culture loves it! Just watch Dragon's Den on a regular basis just to make yourself feel better'. We're all arseholes at the end of the day.

As you can see we quickly lost our heads in the music industry, probably because of all the crap that's shoved down our ears by every 'popular' avenue given to us. We've become the fashionable suckers we were before. Money really gets to your head, mainly because we spend most of our free cash on drinking and drugs just to get away from the drivel. Now we're drug addicts again! I'm surprised we even have a website with all this ludicrous behaviour (and yeah, we spell that with a 'u', sorry to our American pals, you may of beat us in the revolution but we still get to keep our spellings). Right, we thought, thet's get serious, thet's take on pop. Thet's bring the alternative back, we know they're out there, but they need something to come out for. Chõiic Records was born. We're fair to our artists, they pay for everything. . . . and they get everything back (that's like not giving a loan and not charging interest). But wait, shit, Chõiic Records, how are you going to pay for your pubic grooming? Don't worry, we still make awesome tshirts, and they're all fair trade, so you know the kids got 2 bananas instead of a broken biscuit. Seriously, Chõiic are you still not the devil you were trying to run away from? Don't worry! We spoke to Wonga about it they said it was ethical. I mean 2 bananas, if you save them all up they will be worth a fortune in the future, I guess you didn't know that the banana as we know it won't be around in 15 years? Seriously, look it up, it's a cracking deal.

Chõiic Records is about the artists run by the artists, and you now know that our artists are going to have the best damn quality tshirts. You seem really hung up on your tshirts Chõiic Records, should you not just go back to being called Chõiic Clothing? Don't get all high and mighty with us dear reader! After all you clicked on and wanted to read all about us. We'll get to the music and by now you've learnt to be precious and enjoy every last moment with your bananas. Not many record labels can say that everyday. Most record labels talk about their damn music! Please tell us about the music, for the love of. . . . . Alright! Calm down, we're all about the alternative. . . . but not in its extremes, you don't always have to dye your hair pink, grow a beard and cut yourself to be properly alternative, I mean it doesn't harm anyone doing that but we're talking like real good honest alternative rock music. There was a movement in the 90's when the film and the music industry thought it would be a good idea. It countered the times economics, gender issues, rise of scary technology, class divisions and capitalist problems. It was so good they won at the time and we were all free and nothing like that would ever happen again, we've all watched Fight Club haven't we, seriously? Well its time real and honest music came back, not from artists who just want to be famous and sing about driving a Bentley while not paying attention to the road as they're fiddling with all the useless knobs on their Rolex. From artists that feel stuff. That make real songs. On instruments. We were getting a little tired on our ecstasy listening to the same beat driven out in the underground garage industrial electro house scene, with a triangle placed where they could have put a pocket (we promise that's the last tshirt reference). We want something real to listen to, something with feelings and emotions. Not to be popular, not to get in the other gender's pants. The all real, all singing, all dancing alternative rock written and made how the artist intended. That is, dear reader, Chõiic Records.