Weaving Memories - Marie Pembridge, Funeral Celebrant

Sometimes poetic gems turn up, perfect words which speak to the soul. This one is for when everything gets a bit too much, and you need to drop out of the frenetic pace of Christmas/Yule preparations...
'Winter's Cloak' by Joyce Rupp
This year I do not want ... the dark to leave me. I need its wrap of silent stillness, its cloak of long lasting embrace.
Too much light has pulled me away from the chamber of gestation.
Let the dawns come late, let the sunsets arrive early, let the evenings extend themselves while I lean into the abyss of my being.
Let me lie in the cave of my soul, for too much light blinds me, steals the source of revelation.
Let me seek solace in the empty places of winter’s passage, those vast dark nights that never fail to shelter me. . . . [My heartfelt thanks to the fellow celebrant who shared this ✨]
See More

The Winter Solstice sun at Newgrange in Ireland. This short interview touches on something profound about the shared experience of waiting in darkness, talking together of life, death, and hopes for renewal. Do listen to the end. Something to ponder...

Photography at funerals; a controversial subject, but it is becoming more common. I do mention it to families, that they have the option, if they wish - often they had no idea it was 'allowed'.
Some people feel they would like to have a record of the beauty of the flowers, perhaps, or friends and family who have gathered, or a beautifully decorated coffin. It can help to nominate someone to take a few photos for you. So often, mourners at a funeral find they later can't remember such details - and some might like to have some gentle keepsakes of the day they said goodbye...

"Gratitude and grief don't cancel each other out; they exist side by side".
Trying to cheer up a grieving person by reminding them of all they have to be grateful for is common, but it's not helpful - gratitude doesn't remove their pain. Sometimes we can be more helpful by simply acknowledging the feelings of the grieving person, without trying to make it go away. They will find their own way through in their own time - but they need to know you are there...

It is Children’s Grief Awareness Week this week. This is an activity to help children think about their memories of someone who has died, and those that have helped them in difficult times...
#RememberWhen #ChildrensGriefAwareness

Home burials - being buried on your own land - was sensitively and honestly explored in Anna King's show on Radio Gloucestershire today (8th November 2018). Well worth a listen - it's interwoven all through the 3-hour show, but the introduction starts at 20 minutes, with a good interview with Rose Inman-Cooke of the Natural Death Centre at about 31-42 minutes.
Short version - it's easier than you think! More info here - http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php? page=home-burial

I love Gary Andrews' daily doodles - it's one of the ways he processes life after the sudden death of his wife last year. They are funny, poignant, touching and insightful - and, yes, they tend to make me well up. In a good way.
Do look them up...

It is good to see more openness around opportunities for conversations around death. The Cheltenham Literary Festival has some really interesting talks and a Death Cafe lined up on the afternoon/evening of Tuesday 9th October. Well worth checking out their web site. Here are a couple of the events:
Fran Glover and Carrie Weekes from A Natural Undertaking demystify funeral planning and guide you through the many options available: .https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/…/ wha…/2...018/last-wishes/
Katherine Mannix about the power of approaching death not with trepidation but with openness, clarity and an understanding that a good death is just as important as a life well lived: https://www.cheltenhamfestivals.com/…/2 018/with-the-end-in…/
Maybe see you there!
See More

Well, I've taken the plunge into the world of Instagram, as I know many people like to keep up with information on there. If you'd like to follow me, here is the link, and I look forward to keeping in touch! I'll be continuing to post on FB too.
Feel free to let me know about the sorts of things you'd be interested to see and read about in the world of individual, bespoke and creative funerals...

It was interesting to hear the range of questions at Gloucester crematorium's open day last month. People always ask whether they get back the right remains (yes, there are rigid processes to make sure this is so), whether the coffins are re-used (no, not allowed - it all get cremated) and what happens to false hips and joints (the metal is usually sent for recycling, and any money raised goes to charity).
This useful booklet covers many of the areas people asked about, and local crematoria are usually very willing to answer questions and challenge myths - and arrange a look around, if you wanted to reassure yourself.
Or, if you have a question you'd like to ask here, go ahead - and I'll do my best to answer!

Just wanting to share a beautiful poem I found recently:-
Who brought flowers to this grave? I, said the wren. I brought them as seeds and then... Watched them grow.
No, said the wind. That’s not true. I blew them across the moor and sea, I blew them up to the grave’s door. They were a gift from me.
They came of their own accord, Said the celandine. I know best. They’re brothers of mine.
I am Death’s friend, Said the crow. I ought to know. I dropped them into the shadow of the leaning stone. I brought the flowers.
No, said Love, It was I who brought them,
With the help of the wren’s wing, With the help of the wind’s breath, With the help of the celandine and the crow.
It was I who brought them For the living and the dead to share, I was the force that put those flowers there.
'In Tintagel Graveyard' by Brian Patten
See More

I'm back now from my holidays in cool, rainy Scotland, and I'd like to tell you about Gloucester Crematorium's open day, which I visited on 21st July.
A warm, sunny day - and plenty of people taking the opportunity to look around, hopefully put to rest some concerns, and also remember someone who had died. The whole event was done really well. There was the 'unsaid' tree, for people to leave messages, dove releases, a chance to speak to funeral directors, and - inside the... chapel - another tree for memory butterflies, and candles to light.
I joined the tour of the crematorium facilities, and there was some lively discussion as people voiced the things that concerned them - and were reassured by the facts and the evident care of the staff.
You wouldn't imagine that such a venue could be a good day out - but I want to congratulate the staff on a lovely event, well carried out. I missed the cake, but I expect I'll cope!
See More

Have you wondered how a crematorium works, and would like to have a look around, including behind the scenes, and a chance to find answers to your questions? Well, Gloucester Crematorium have an open day this Saturday, 21st July, 10:00am - 2:00pm.
All the information is in the poster, but there will be dove releases, tours of the crematory area, time for reflection, a chance to light a candle, and to sing along to hymns, if you wish. You will also be able to take part in a creative 'written in stone' project, leave a message on a pebble, place a star on the 'unsaid' tree, and have a cup of tea in the Arbor tea rooms on-site.
I will be there for some of the time, so do say hi if you are planning to come!

Balloon releases - lovely symbolism, and often associated with funerals, but appalling for the environment and the creatures that get tangled or try to eat them. In effect, it is releasing plastic litter into the sky (along with the waste of finite helium resources).
Sadly, even 'biodegradable' balloons can cause harm in the many months/years before they break down. Maybe try blowing bubbles instead? Some other ideas here - https://balloonsblow.org/environmentally- friendly-alternat…/

Gloucestershire friends, this powerful film by Jimmy and Jane of the 'Good Grief Project' is screening at Gloucester Guildhall on Wednesday 11th July. Following on from the sudden death of their own son 6 years ago; they journey and meet other parents whose children have died, and explore the aftermath, the wider questions of grief, memory and finding a way to live with loss.
I've seen it - it's a deep and moving journey. It will give you food for thought. Take tissues!

A piece of writing by someone you love who has died can bring back so many memories; it is such a personal connection.
This page offers some really interesting ways of preserving snippets of handwriting - maybe a solution to some of the treasured writing that we can't bear to throw away...

You don't have to use a big black hearse - many estate cars are suitable, or you can hire in other lovely options - including this one, a beautiful Morris Minor hearse. Perhaps more gentle and friendly than the more traditional options. Certainly appeals to me!

We spend a lot of our lives trying to choose things be it food, jobs, what house to buy what wedding dress to wear finding a name for a baby even hours of time thinking about what box set to watch next.

Not enough time is given to celebrating the life of our loved ones when they die or how we would like to be remembered.

Marie is a rare and beautiful person who has thought deeply about this most neglected yet immensely significant life event.



Marie provides compassion kindness utmost trust and professionalism respecting diversity of spiritual belief.

Making this a memorable celebration of a persons life in a way that reinforces the treasure of life itself is something to really spend time thinking about and to contact Weaving Memories to make it one of the best choices you may ever make. Excellent website full of useful information easy to navigate. I don't have to look any further.



Jo from Gloucester

We spend a lot of our lives trying to choose things be it food, jobs, what house to buy what wedding dress to wear finding a name for a baby even hours of time thinking about what box set to watch next.

Not enough time is given to celebrating the life of our loved ones when they die or how we would like to be remembered.

Marie is a rare and beautiful person who has thought deeply about this most neglected yet immensely significant life event.



Marie provides compassion kindness utmost trust and professionalism respecting diversity of spiritual belief.

Making this a memorable celebration of a persons life in a way that reinforces the treasure of life itself is something to really spend time thinking about and to contact Weaving Memories to make it one of the best choices you may ever make. Excellent website full of useful information easy to navigate. I don't have to look any further.



Jo from Gloucester