The Mysterious Metal Fence In Kivo

I hear there's more metal fencing coming your way very soon! What more could you want than your main street looking more and more like a prison everyday? Enjoy your Council Tax bill this month people :P

the fence has been having a problem with his dongle. Nothing my Linda can't sort out though!

the fence has had a week on holiday. Feel refreshed. Back to work this week, i've missed Linda telling me to fuck off and pointing to Aeroplanes that aren't there.

had a break in last night :( Luckily, all the valuable stuff (including Bin Laden's body) had been removed from the skip beforehand. There just seems to be a lot of litter and little bags of Dog Poo everywhere.

is Bin Laden in the Skip?

I really fancy the new Princess and future Queen Katherine Middleton.

the grumpy woman at the Forge Pub is out sticking Union Jack flags up and photos of the happy couple. Looks like she's set for a great day! She might crack a smile at some point, you never know!

i'm getting drunk this weekend - anyone care to join me?

want to go out to celebrate the Royal Wedding on Friday - but I can't get anyone to look after the Skip for me :(

Bank Holidays mean nothing to the Fence - I work everyday.

lots of young men have been drinking on the car park of the Forge Pub today. Lots of swearing and shouting. Really makes the village look bad. Do we need another fence to keep these yobs out of sight?

my mate just rang and said he's gonna be used for the Royal Wedding next week. Him and ten miles worth of mobile fencing - guarding the precious couple from the world. Why the hell am I stuck between a Skip, a Library and an old Pub that stinks of piss? When he gets the big gig in London? Life sucks.

Okay people..it's joke time!
whats the difference between your metal fence and Nick Clegg?
Considering we both stand around all day doing bugger all, I guess there isn't one.
... Oh - and you have paid for us both, too.
Same time next week :)
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what was life like in Kiveton Park before metal fencing? The thought of people smiling whilst taking shortcuts makes me sick.

some woman called Linda keeps coming up for a chat with me, at the same time, everyday. She doesn't half look scary! I told her to add me on Facebook but she told me to fuck off and walked off.

the man in the green has just come and opened my bottom gate and opened the skip, I couldn't get to see what was inside it but the man threw a big black bag in there, it was bulging. It must be money or something very valuable in that bag. I'm not sleeping all night now. What could it be in that bag people? Help!

my green cousin fence that protects the Play Area/Park on the Rec has told me that the grumpy old man on there has been told to not let any kids over 12 on the Park and is turning kids away everyday. Thank god my cousin is there to protect these terrible kids from this terrible thing of trying to play on the swings. Kids these days!

the Fence has got his Hat on..hip hip hip hooray!